I have spend 6 months of my life with the most precious being. She can make my heart melt in a half a second and make me feel crazy in about the same time as well. I have had many sleepless nights with Kendall. I would like to not to have to plan for them but I know there will unfortunately be more. Even so, I am grateful that I have been given this gift to raise my beautiful baby.
After speaking with a close friend tonight. I cannot help but feel as if I was given a precious gift. I love that family like they were my own and they were given a gift but the unimaginable happened and their gift- their precious baby is a angel now. It has taken me many months to put how I feel into words. I may never speak of all my feelings about this.They never knew his smile, a simple coo, or even what his cry sounded like. I felt guilty then and I still do. At the time I was holding a three month old baby girl who was nursing great, she was above average in her growth and she was learning to hold her head up on her tummy while pushing up with her arms well ahead of her peers. I held her tighter after the day I read the horrible news on Facebook.
This family was like my own. I feel as if I lost someone that day too. But I also feel like I should be somewhat guilty. I was able to have a problem free pregnancy and a natural birth, I have been able to breastfeed for six months now with no problems. She is growing and she is healthy, however, they feel pain. It breaks my heart. Someone I love had to let their angel go. Instead of celebrating holidays with their new bundle as I am they have only pictures to remember him by.
Tonight, I don't know if I can lay Kendall down. She is my world. As I think about them I am taken back by them and their love. I would seclude myself from the world. I don't think I could breathe after such a loss. But they have found it in them to continue through life. There is not a day that passes that they think of him and what could have been.
As I drove home with Kendall snoring in her car seat I began to think about how lucky I am. How I don't remember what life was like without her. MY desires my goals my life has changed. I am forever grateful for her. She makes me a better person. I forget the evil in the world when she is around I forget everything. I don't know whats going on in my group of friends I used to keep up with. They are probably partying still and being 24-25 years old but I don't know because my desire to keep up with them to follow them and daydream about how it must be is gone. I have her now, I have no desire to follow that path again.There may be days I can't get ANYTHING done around the house, and possibly countless days she makes it difficult to even get a shower in or even eat. But I am grateful that she chose me as her mommy. With sleepless nights, and embarrassing trips to restaurants I am grateful I get to experience this with her. Reality doesn't set in until you lose what you have or could have had. I imagine the pain they experienced and are continuing to experience is unlike any pain anyone could understand without going through this.
There are many nights I still lay awake and listen to her breathe or place my hand on her to make sure she is breathing. It is probably my worst fear. When she was born I refused to sleep for almost 4 days. I was scared out of my wits that something would happen to her. That feeling will probably NEVER go away. And if it did what kind of mother would I be? But at least the family can rest easy knowing that their precious angel never felt pain or hate that this world is consumed by.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Pictures of Kendall at 3 months!
One of my faves! 
Kendall's grin! She is working those eyebrows!
Love her sweet wittle baby yawns! 
Kendall has been teething for the last 2 weeks.
Sassy sticking by Kendall while she is napping.Friday, February 3, 2012
Kendall's Birth Story
Finally, the long awaited birth story.
On Monday December 12th, I awoke to a different kind of contraction. They were unlike any I have had ever felt. During pregnancy I always heard "oh you will KNOW". It is so frustrating when you are pregnant hearing that over and over but it really is TRUE! I really knew I would have her soon. It was 7:40am and I didn't wake Josh. I did my normal routine and when Josh got in the shower I was sitting on the bathroom counter waiting on him when he opened the shower curtain I asked if he was going to be ready to drive to Statesville to Davis Regional to have our baby.
He looked at me funny because we had our weekly appointment the following day on the 13th down there he believed I was confused with the days. The excitement in his face when I told him about the contractions was indescribable he couldn't believe it. Just picture the movie Flubber. How the little blob of green bounces of the wall and with joy and laughter yeah that was Josh.
At that time my contractions were 10 minutes apart lasting about 60 seconds. It was very textbook. Josh fixed a large breakfast that morning. (I was very thankful of this later in the day because my appetite vanished by lunch.) Throughout the day, I took the time to relax. I read Spiritual Midwifery AGAIN, to give me encouragement and hope. And best of all, I took a loooooooonnnngg hot bath and relaxed, shaved my legs and then blow dried my hair out straight put makeup on. You would think I had a date to go to. LOL. Around lunch Josh reheated the Lasagna and fixed a salad. Salad was all I could stand. The Lasagna made me gag. But also by lunch time the intensity of the contractions has increased so I figured that was why I couldn't eat. I called Nicole our midwife and she said it sounded like labor but told us to just relax around the house. So, I sat around the living room napped when I could, and rolled around on the exercise ball. I called and text everyone who was on my list to call to tell them I thought Kendall was going to arrive soon.
Once they got stronger the times got closer 8 minutes apart and finally 5 minutes apart. Time was flying by! Josh didn't work that day he was too excited and was just waiting on the word "go" he was also getting things lined up for his business. At 5pm it took a turn, I was forced to focus more on the contractions. Although, it wasn't painful it was just a stronger intensity. I still wasn't feeling pain but I called Nicole again we decided to wait a little longer until I couldn't watch TV anymore and couldn't hold a conversation. At 6:30pm we started loading the car. And although I could still hold a conversation but we left our house at 7:30pm. Josh would squeeze my leg or my hand on the drive down there when he knew I was having a contraction. I turned on the heated seats and that helped a lot. I sang, and we laughed and talked about our hopes for the birth.
We arrived at Davis Regional at 8:30 and my parents pulled in as we were walking into the doors. I filled out all the paperwork and by 9pm we had met Amanda our nurse and she was taking us to our birthing suite. We were the ONLY couple birthing on the floor! I was ecstatic I knew I could be loud if I needed to be. LOL. I gave Amanda our birth plan. (Amanda actually went to SCC with one of my best friends from highschool-Small world!) Dr Roque came in to check on my dilation and welcome me! I was already 6cm and 100% effaced. Whhhooooo Hooooooo! Amanda hooked me up to the fetal monitor for 30 minutes to check on Kendall and did my vitals and such and I was set free to do as I wished!
Amanda was wonderful! She was always checking in on me and my family and my water was always full. :) We got a birth ball as soon as Nicole came in. I circled and rocked (Making lots of fart noises with the ball and the flooring. That was distracting.) My family had made the trip down to Statesville and they were in the room during this time. As I would come into a contraction I would hold up my hand to make everyone be quiet so I could focus on the contraction. But I did my birth ball rotation for about 2 hours before I said I wanted the Jacuzzi. Amanda filled the tub for me. I peed before I got in the tub and Josh announced to everyone I had gotten the bloody show! Yippee! We were so excited.
I got into the tub and Josh sat on the outside of the tub surround. It was such a small bathroom and it was so humid in there. LOL, we both had drops of sweat running from our heads. But it was wonderful. It made life easier. Contractions were almost non-existent in the Jacuzzi. It was relaxing along with the rumbling feeling from the jets and the sounds. Josh rubbed my legs and back and would pour water over my back too. I never felt so loved before! Nicole would come and check on us pretty often. We would refill water and tell her we were ok. When the contractions changed I asked her to check my cervix again she said 6cm. I got so discouraged. But, I believed in my body I knew it was doing the work it should be doing so I let the fear go. Josh started making me laugh and was holding my hand and smooching on me.
I began vomiting probably 30 minutes or so after Nicole checked me. At first, Josh was worried about me me and then I laughed. He was somewhat confused, I told him "Ina May Gaskin's book mentioned vomiting and it's a good thing it means I am progressing quickly. Ina May also says we should make light of it." So, we laughed over it. We laughed over the fact we could name out the breakfast and lunch I had eaten that day from my vomit. We had a lot of fun and he was so great!!! During this time, I did "investigate" myself I felt the bag of waters bulging and I got so excited. We stayed in the teeny tiny bathroom for 2.5 hours. When I felt Kendall's head drop I almost jumped out of the water. I told Josh something had happened. I think this is when my water broke. It felt like a softball hitting my cervix. I could no longer get comfortable. Josh insisted it was time to change positions. He suggested walking. As I stood outside the Jacuzzi I had a contraction. We swayed back and forth like we were slow dancing it was really romantic aside from the itty bitty bathroom. Without the water contractions sucked! But it was an amazing feeling to have my husband there doing his best to help take my discomfort away. I had a hard time getting to the bed for my cervix to be checked again. But I slowly made it.
It felt so good to have him working with me through each contraction. Dr Roque and Nicole waited for me --- 9cm--- WOW! We couldn't believe it. I got on all fours on the bed for a handful of contractions. Looking back I wish I hadn't. I wish I had tried my leg up in a lunge or something else. Dr Roque checked me again. just shy of 10cm with a anterior lip. I remember thinking of Vicki my childbirth educator telling us how badly these sucked and how painful they were. But Dr Roque helped me push over it and I had made it to 10cm. Transition was so tough! I was pretty lucky that my body was working with me. My contractions weren't close together I got almost 5 minutes in between contractions during transition and pushing phases. Nicole told me I should breathe through my nose and out my mouth. We laughed after I told her I couldn't because my nostrils were too small. Nicole had this amazing ability to look into my eyes and it was as if she was taking the pain away for a bit. She could calm me down when no one else could. She was amazing as well. I did ask for drugs but at first I really just wanted the assurance from everyone that I COULD do this. I knew I was too far into transition to get drugs but it helped pleading for them because everyone in the room would rally behind me telling me how well I was doing. At the end of transition, I yelled "Pickles". Pickles had been Josh and I's code word that I REALLY needed drugs. At the end of transition I had so much doubt. I doubted that I could continue any longer especially if the contractions were like this very long. Of course, Pickles made everyone laugh again. I got the support I needed to make it through transition un-medicated. It was after this they asked me to change positions.
When Roque told me to start pushing our baby girl out Josh was in my right ear even more than he had been before telling me how strong I was. He confessed his love for me. He smooched me all over, he gave me encouragement, he was so incredibly awesome. I was laying on my left side with my legs at my head. We would relax in between contractions and laugh. Roque finally noticed my nostrils and said I had the smallest nostrils she had ever seen. The entire room seemed more like a celebration or a party than a hospital birth. For that I am grateful. Needless to say, we had a blast, it was hilarious in between contractions. Pushing stage felt sooooooo Good! I can't say I felt pain at all during this phase. I thought to myself- I can see where the ladies from Orgasmic Birth come from now. I really felt awesome! There was NO PAIN!!! The pushing stage is tough because you really don't know how HARD you really CAN push until you push your baby out. Roque asked if I wanted to feel her head coming out. I reached down and felt such a small part of her head maybe a fifty cent piece size. I yelled she is never coming out. They made it seem like she was crowning. Everyone laughed at my comment. Finally a few pushes later when Roque said "okay, here is your ring of fire" I didn't believe her! I didn't have any "fire" going on. It truly was just like Ina May Gaskin says- "It's an interesting sensation that helps get the baby out." (
Josh was so excited with each push he encouraged me to push even harder than before to bring our daughter into this world. His face was just priceless during this process. When I finally KNEW I could do this I pulled my feet as hard as I could. They were by my head I thought I was going to become the human pretzel. It was sound strange but it was a painless incredible feeling. I was making faces that weren't very pretty and grunting but I don't feel like they were a response to pain. I feel it was a response to help me push harder. Roque and my mom and dad had become my cheerleaders yelling a screaming that I could do this. Nicole was able to ground me very quickly between my contractions.
I was so lucky to have such a supporting husband by my side the entire time. His support meant the most! When I pushed the hardest push I could with my feet by my head her head finally emerged. Everyone screamed she is crowning. Everyone had excitement in their voices and huge smiles on their faces. And with all the happiness and joy filling the room I quickly bared down again and out shot her little body. I raised my tank top and they placed her on my belly and between my breasts. Her eyes were open immediately. I rubbed her back to get her to breathe better. She made her presence known but she didn't wail or scream. But she did clear her lungs out. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to have her little body resting on top of my body rather than inside of it. There her little body resting, breathing, and living on my body between my breasts. Her eyes staring back at me. My mind was flooded with emotion.
It truly was the best night of my life. Kendall Reese made her way into the world at 2:12am on December 13th she weighed 6lbs 7.5oz and she was 19 inches long. She breastfed within her first hour of life and she nursed for about 30 minutes. Nicole helped me get her latched on correctly. She has 5 fingers on each hand and 5 toes on each foot. She is absolutely perfect. She hair is so long and is turning blonde already. We were able to leave the hospital Wednesday morning and she weighed 6lbs 3oz. but at her first doctors visit she weighed 6lbs 12oz. Fourteen days after her birth she weighed 8lbs even. She changes everyday. I find a new baby roll on her everyday. :) It is truly the best gift being a mother. She is growing so quickly I can only imagine how quickly she will change in the coming weeks. My life is perfect with my little family.
At that time my contractions were 10 minutes apart lasting about 60 seconds. It was very textbook. Josh fixed a large breakfast that morning. (I was very thankful of this later in the day because my appetite vanished by lunch.) Throughout the day, I took the time to relax. I read Spiritual Midwifery AGAIN, to give me encouragement and hope. And best of all, I took a loooooooonnnngg hot bath and relaxed, shaved my legs and then blow dried my hair out straight put makeup on. You would think I had a date to go to. LOL. Around lunch Josh reheated the Lasagna and fixed a salad. Salad was all I could stand. The Lasagna made me gag. But also by lunch time the intensity of the contractions has increased so I figured that was why I couldn't eat. I called Nicole our midwife and she said it sounded like labor but told us to just relax around the house. So, I sat around the living room napped when I could, and rolled around on the exercise ball. I called and text everyone who was on my list to call to tell them I thought Kendall was going to arrive soon.
Once they got stronger the times got closer 8 minutes apart and finally 5 minutes apart. Time was flying by! Josh didn't work that day he was too excited and was just waiting on the word "go" he was also getting things lined up for his business. At 5pm it took a turn, I was forced to focus more on the contractions. Although, it wasn't painful it was just a stronger intensity. I still wasn't feeling pain but I called Nicole again we decided to wait a little longer until I couldn't watch TV anymore and couldn't hold a conversation. At 6:30pm we started loading the car. And although I could still hold a conversation but we left our house at 7:30pm. Josh would squeeze my leg or my hand on the drive down there when he knew I was having a contraction. I turned on the heated seats and that helped a lot. I sang, and we laughed and talked about our hopes for the birth.
We arrived at Davis Regional at 8:30 and my parents pulled in as we were walking into the doors. I filled out all the paperwork and by 9pm we had met Amanda our nurse and she was taking us to our birthing suite. We were the ONLY couple birthing on the floor! I was ecstatic I knew I could be loud if I needed to be. LOL. I gave Amanda our birth plan. (Amanda actually went to SCC with one of my best friends from highschool-Small world!) Dr Roque came in to check on my dilation and welcome me! I was already 6cm and 100% effaced. Whhhooooo Hooooooo! Amanda hooked me up to the fetal monitor for 30 minutes to check on Kendall and did my vitals and such and I was set free to do as I wished!
Amanda was wonderful! She was always checking in on me and my family and my water was always full. :) We got a birth ball as soon as Nicole came in. I circled and rocked (Making lots of fart noises with the ball and the flooring. That was distracting.) My family had made the trip down to Statesville and they were in the room during this time. As I would come into a contraction I would hold up my hand to make everyone be quiet so I could focus on the contraction. But I did my birth ball rotation for about 2 hours before I said I wanted the Jacuzzi. Amanda filled the tub for me. I peed before I got in the tub and Josh announced to everyone I had gotten the bloody show! Yippee! We were so excited.
I got into the tub and Josh sat on the outside of the tub surround. It was such a small bathroom and it was so humid in there. LOL, we both had drops of sweat running from our heads. But it was wonderful. It made life easier. Contractions were almost non-existent in the Jacuzzi. It was relaxing along with the rumbling feeling from the jets and the sounds. Josh rubbed my legs and back and would pour water over my back too. I never felt so loved before! Nicole would come and check on us pretty often. We would refill water and tell her we were ok. When the contractions changed I asked her to check my cervix again she said 6cm. I got so discouraged. But, I believed in my body I knew it was doing the work it should be doing so I let the fear go. Josh started making me laugh and was holding my hand and smooching on me.
I began vomiting probably 30 minutes or so after Nicole checked me. At first, Josh was worried about me me and then I laughed. He was somewhat confused, I told him "Ina May Gaskin's book mentioned vomiting and it's a good thing it means I am progressing quickly. Ina May also says we should make light of it." So, we laughed over it. We laughed over the fact we could name out the breakfast and lunch I had eaten that day from my vomit. We had a lot of fun and he was so great!!! During this time, I did "investigate" myself I felt the bag of waters bulging and I got so excited. We stayed in the teeny tiny bathroom for 2.5 hours. When I felt Kendall's head drop I almost jumped out of the water. I told Josh something had happened. I think this is when my water broke. It felt like a softball hitting my cervix. I could no longer get comfortable. Josh insisted it was time to change positions. He suggested walking. As I stood outside the Jacuzzi I had a contraction. We swayed back and forth like we were slow dancing it was really romantic aside from the itty bitty bathroom. Without the water contractions sucked! But it was an amazing feeling to have my husband there doing his best to help take my discomfort away. I had a hard time getting to the bed for my cervix to be checked again. But I slowly made it.
It felt so good to have him working with me through each contraction. Dr Roque and Nicole waited for me --- 9cm--- WOW! We couldn't believe it. I got on all fours on the bed for a handful of contractions. Looking back I wish I hadn't. I wish I had tried my leg up in a lunge or something else. Dr Roque checked me again. just shy of 10cm with a anterior lip. I remember thinking of Vicki my childbirth educator telling us how badly these sucked and how painful they were. But Dr Roque helped me push over it and I had made it to 10cm. Transition was so tough! I was pretty lucky that my body was working with me. My contractions weren't close together I got almost 5 minutes in between contractions during transition and pushing phases. Nicole told me I should breathe through my nose and out my mouth. We laughed after I told her I couldn't because my nostrils were too small. Nicole had this amazing ability to look into my eyes and it was as if she was taking the pain away for a bit. She could calm me down when no one else could. She was amazing as well. I did ask for drugs but at first I really just wanted the assurance from everyone that I COULD do this. I knew I was too far into transition to get drugs but it helped pleading for them because everyone in the room would rally behind me telling me how well I was doing. At the end of transition, I yelled "Pickles". Pickles had been Josh and I's code word that I REALLY needed drugs. At the end of transition I had so much doubt. I doubted that I could continue any longer especially if the contractions were like this very long. Of course, Pickles made everyone laugh again. I got the support I needed to make it through transition un-medicated. It was after this they asked me to change positions.
When Roque told me to start pushing our baby girl out Josh was in my right ear even more than he had been before telling me how strong I was. He confessed his love for me. He smooched me all over, he gave me encouragement, he was so incredibly awesome. I was laying on my left side with my legs at my head. We would relax in between contractions and laugh. Roque finally noticed my nostrils and said I had the smallest nostrils she had ever seen. The entire room seemed more like a celebration or a party than a hospital birth. For that I am grateful. Needless to say, we had a blast, it was hilarious in between contractions. Pushing stage felt sooooooo Good! I can't say I felt pain at all during this phase. I thought to myself- I can see where the ladies from Orgasmic Birth come from now. I really felt awesome! There was NO PAIN!!! The pushing stage is tough because you really don't know how HARD you really CAN push until you push your baby out. Roque asked if I wanted to feel her head coming out. I reached down and felt such a small part of her head maybe a fifty cent piece size. I yelled she is never coming out. They made it seem like she was crowning. Everyone laughed at my comment. Finally a few pushes later when Roque said "okay, here is your ring of fire" I didn't believe her! I didn't have any "fire" going on. It truly was just like Ina May Gaskin says- "It's an interesting sensation that helps get the baby out." (
Josh was so excited with each push he encouraged me to push even harder than before to bring our daughter into this world. His face was just priceless during this process. When I finally KNEW I could do this I pulled my feet as hard as I could. They were by my head I thought I was going to become the human pretzel. It was sound strange but it was a painless incredible feeling. I was making faces that weren't very pretty and grunting but I don't feel like they were a response to pain. I feel it was a response to help me push harder. Roque and my mom and dad had become my cheerleaders yelling a screaming that I could do this. Nicole was able to ground me very quickly between my contractions.
I was so lucky to have such a supporting husband by my side the entire time. His support meant the most! When I pushed the hardest push I could with my feet by my head her head finally emerged. Everyone screamed she is crowning. Everyone had excitement in their voices and huge smiles on their faces. And with all the happiness and joy filling the room I quickly bared down again and out shot her little body. I raised my tank top and they placed her on my belly and between my breasts. Her eyes were open immediately. I rubbed her back to get her to breathe better. She made her presence known but she didn't wail or scream. But she did clear her lungs out. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to have her little body resting on top of my body rather than inside of it. There her little body resting, breathing, and living on my body between my breasts. Her eyes staring back at me. My mind was flooded with emotion.
It truly was the best night of my life. Kendall Reese made her way into the world at 2:12am on December 13th she weighed 6lbs 7.5oz and she was 19 inches long. She breastfed within her first hour of life and she nursed for about 30 minutes. Nicole helped me get her latched on correctly. She has 5 fingers on each hand and 5 toes on each foot. She is absolutely perfect. She hair is so long and is turning blonde already. We were able to leave the hospital Wednesday morning and she weighed 6lbs 3oz. but at her first doctors visit she weighed 6lbs 12oz. Fourteen days after her birth she weighed 8lbs even. She changes everyday. I find a new baby roll on her everyday. :) It is truly the best gift being a mother. She is growing so quickly I can only imagine how quickly she will change in the coming weeks. My life is perfect with my little family.
Friday, December 9, 2011
3 days from Due Date...
Apparently our baby girl is taking her sweet time just like her Daddy always does. We are 3 days from our due date. I figured she would be in our arms by now as many contractions I have had in the past weeks. But apparently that was just preparing my cervix for what's to come later.
At our 39 week appointment, our midwife told us I was 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated. Still my cervix is anterior and Kendall's head is still really low if not lower than last weeks. I measured 37 weeks on my belly- this has been the same since 37 weeks. She has dropped but contractions don't stay steady enough. I had some AWESOMELY strong contractions the day of our appointment they stayed consistent until we walked into the birth center. I thought for sure we would have a baby soon. NOPE.
She likes to pull my leg. Just like last night. I was standing in front of Josh and my eyes bulged--- "Did my water just start leaking?" My underwear was soaked! I had just peed so I knew it wasn't pee. Go to bathroom check it out peed again. Yeah, that is definitively not what it felt like. Call Midwife, put a pad on if you soak it in an hour call back. Well, Of course I didn't soak it. And I must say there is a REASON I haven't wore a pad in 10 years. Yuck! Anyways, maybe its a super slow leak? I don't know I guess it could have been cervical fluid. Again I got really excited. But no drive to Statesville. :(
Will it ever happen naturally? I am scared I will end up with the EXACT opposite of what I want. I don't want an induction but I can't be pregnant FOREVER! I am scared that an induction will lead to a Cesarean. Again, I do not want that. But she can't stay inside forever. We have tried everything under the book for natural induction. Reflexology, pineapple, sex, Primrose Oil for my cervix (which that worked), and I have walked. Last weekend we actually went to Farmington to see if we could coax her out with drag racing and rumbling. Yeah obviously that didn't work. haha. She only jumps or gets startled at the Junior dragsters when they pass by really closely. I was really surprised the other cars didn't startle her. Anyways, we have tried everything. Now we have given up. She will come when she comes. There isn't ANYTHING anyone can do to change it.
I was thinking some babies don't like to come into the world if mom doesn't feel ready. But now the glider is finished, her room is finished, we have preemie, newborn and size 1 sposies, and a large amount of cloth diapers, we have plenty of wipes, her Daddy and her Papa put both car seats in the the truck and car. Everything is packed for her and I and Josh. Everything is washed and ready for her. REALLY what is this kid waiting on???
Last week I cleaned pretty heavily on the house but now I have to muster up the energy to do it again. UGH! I see nap time in the future today.
Also, before I forget, Sassy and Ivan have been acting really strange. Sassy, will sit in front of me and whine and actually will STOP eating to follow me into the bathroom. She has to lay with me wherever I am. Today, Ivan has started with whining thing too. They both follow me very closely room to room. Kinda dread cleaning with them like this. I have heard dogs know when something is going on inside of us. Maybe they are aware this baby wants out soon? I can hope!!!
At our 39 week appointment, our midwife told us I was 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated. Still my cervix is anterior and Kendall's head is still really low if not lower than last weeks. I measured 37 weeks on my belly- this has been the same since 37 weeks. She has dropped but contractions don't stay steady enough. I had some AWESOMELY strong contractions the day of our appointment they stayed consistent until we walked into the birth center. I thought for sure we would have a baby soon. NOPE.
She likes to pull my leg. Just like last night. I was standing in front of Josh and my eyes bulged--- "Did my water just start leaking?" My underwear was soaked! I had just peed so I knew it wasn't pee. Go to bathroom check it out peed again. Yeah, that is definitively not what it felt like. Call Midwife, put a pad on if you soak it in an hour call back. Well, Of course I didn't soak it. And I must say there is a REASON I haven't wore a pad in 10 years. Yuck! Anyways, maybe its a super slow leak? I don't know I guess it could have been cervical fluid. Again I got really excited. But no drive to Statesville. :(
Will it ever happen naturally? I am scared I will end up with the EXACT opposite of what I want. I don't want an induction but I can't be pregnant FOREVER! I am scared that an induction will lead to a Cesarean. Again, I do not want that. But she can't stay inside forever. We have tried everything under the book for natural induction. Reflexology, pineapple, sex, Primrose Oil for my cervix (which that worked), and I have walked. Last weekend we actually went to Farmington to see if we could coax her out with drag racing and rumbling. Yeah obviously that didn't work. haha. She only jumps or gets startled at the Junior dragsters when they pass by really closely. I was really surprised the other cars didn't startle her. Anyways, we have tried everything. Now we have given up. She will come when she comes. There isn't ANYTHING anyone can do to change it.
I was thinking some babies don't like to come into the world if mom doesn't feel ready. But now the glider is finished, her room is finished, we have preemie, newborn and size 1 sposies, and a large amount of cloth diapers, we have plenty of wipes, her Daddy and her Papa put both car seats in the the truck and car. Everything is packed for her and I and Josh. Everything is washed and ready for her. REALLY what is this kid waiting on???
Last week I cleaned pretty heavily on the house but now I have to muster up the energy to do it again. UGH! I see nap time in the future today.
Also, before I forget, Sassy and Ivan have been acting really strange. Sassy, will sit in front of me and whine and actually will STOP eating to follow me into the bathroom. She has to lay with me wherever I am. Today, Ivan has started with whining thing too. They both follow me very closely room to room. Kinda dread cleaning with them like this. I have heard dogs know when something is going on inside of us. Maybe they are aware this baby wants out soon? I can hope!!!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
At 38 weeks...
For some reason I believed I was going to have Kendall by now... I thought she was going to make her grand appearance the weekend after Thanksgiving. I had PLENTY of strong contractions but it wasn't strong enough to carry over to active labor. :(
Then the contractions STOPPED and Kendall's movement SLOWED way down. I thought "Ohhhhhh, maybe this is the sign."
NOPE!!!
At my 37 weeks (the week of Thanksgiving) Nicole my midwife saw me. I had been debating on getting checked for effacement and dilation I ended up getting checked and I was 60% effaced and 1 finger but a loose finger or 1.5 cm dilated with a mushy cervix that is already anterior. All great signs. I left very positive and hopeful.
At my 38 week check up I saw Nicole again. And because of the contractions that kept me up all night I decided to get checked again and debated for awhile about her sweeping my membranes. I decided to have them swept anyways and she said I was STILL 60% effaced and 2 cm dilated but SUPER mushy and still anterior. Left feeling pretty shitty about my body. Feeling like it let me down. I thought I had made progress but NO> No progress made here. :( When you get your membranes swept if you aren't ready they won't help but if you ARE ready it usually starts in 24 hours. Needless to say it is now Thursday night and my membranes were swept on Monday. It didn't help. We have tried everything!!! Bumpy roads, Sex, talking to Kendall reassuring her life is pleasant in the real world etc. Nothing works.
I really wanted to have her 3 weeks before Christmas to keep from having difficult birthdays. Or family buying one gift for Christmas and not for her birthday plus Birthday sleepovers will be harder etc. But it seems it already is beginning. She has been forgotten already for Christmas by some. :( Josh and I aren't putting a tree up this year because with having a baby so CLOSE to Christmas it will be more of a hassle to get it all out and more than likely I won't have the time to put it all up until February because of the baby. We still have bought Kendall some Stocking stuffers and we have spent lots of money on new things we have already taken out of packages and gotten ready for her birth. But we haven't forgotten her. Santa will come see her and leave her a stocking here and at my mom and dads house. ;) My mom and dad has gotten her so many toys for her first year it isn't funny! The kid isn't going to know how to open gifts and some probably won't be wrapped but I can tell you she has already racked up at her first Christmas from Nana and Papa. :)
We are looking forward to her birth, but not the stress of it all. Deciding when people get called and who can be where and who we don't want near us and what if they show up. I have decided today that I don't care anymore. I want to have my baby in peace and quiet and have her naturally without pain medicine unless I really want it. I don't want to be pressured into feeling bad because someone wants in the room to see the birth or to be close to us while we are laboring. I have made my mind up and Josh and I have a birth plan in place like I spoken about before. The midwife will stick with it and I have a feeling someone will get mad at me. And I don't give a flip about it. I am done stressing about it. I think for me to STOP worrying about this part of the birth will help with Kendall being born sooner. So I am letting go of it now. Expect me to speak my mind from now on. No keeping it back. Call me the evil pregnant bitch or evil birthing bitch I just want her birth to be stress free and especially after her birth while we are at home to be stress free. It probably ISN'T going to happen but we shall see.
This is going to be such a memorable Christmas and new year I cannot wait to meet this precious life growing inside of me!
Then the contractions STOPPED and Kendall's movement SLOWED way down. I thought "Ohhhhhh, maybe this is the sign."
NOPE!!!
At my 37 weeks (the week of Thanksgiving) Nicole my midwife saw me. I had been debating on getting checked for effacement and dilation I ended up getting checked and I was 60% effaced and 1 finger but a loose finger or 1.5 cm dilated with a mushy cervix that is already anterior. All great signs. I left very positive and hopeful.
At my 38 week check up I saw Nicole again. And because of the contractions that kept me up all night I decided to get checked again and debated for awhile about her sweeping my membranes. I decided to have them swept anyways and she said I was STILL 60% effaced and 2 cm dilated but SUPER mushy and still anterior. Left feeling pretty shitty about my body. Feeling like it let me down. I thought I had made progress but NO> No progress made here. :( When you get your membranes swept if you aren't ready they won't help but if you ARE ready it usually starts in 24 hours. Needless to say it is now Thursday night and my membranes were swept on Monday. It didn't help. We have tried everything!!! Bumpy roads, Sex, talking to Kendall reassuring her life is pleasant in the real world etc. Nothing works.
I really wanted to have her 3 weeks before Christmas to keep from having difficult birthdays. Or family buying one gift for Christmas and not for her birthday plus Birthday sleepovers will be harder etc. But it seems it already is beginning. She has been forgotten already for Christmas by some. :( Josh and I aren't putting a tree up this year because with having a baby so CLOSE to Christmas it will be more of a hassle to get it all out and more than likely I won't have the time to put it all up until February because of the baby. We still have bought Kendall some Stocking stuffers and we have spent lots of money on new things we have already taken out of packages and gotten ready for her birth. But we haven't forgotten her. Santa will come see her and leave her a stocking here and at my mom and dads house. ;) My mom and dad has gotten her so many toys for her first year it isn't funny! The kid isn't going to know how to open gifts and some probably won't be wrapped but I can tell you she has already racked up at her first Christmas from Nana and Papa. :)
We are looking forward to her birth, but not the stress of it all. Deciding when people get called and who can be where and who we don't want near us and what if they show up. I have decided today that I don't care anymore. I want to have my baby in peace and quiet and have her naturally without pain medicine unless I really want it. I don't want to be pressured into feeling bad because someone wants in the room to see the birth or to be close to us while we are laboring. I have made my mind up and Josh and I have a birth plan in place like I spoken about before. The midwife will stick with it and I have a feeling someone will get mad at me. And I don't give a flip about it. I am done stressing about it. I think for me to STOP worrying about this part of the birth will help with Kendall being born sooner. So I am letting go of it now. Expect me to speak my mind from now on. No keeping it back. Call me the evil pregnant bitch or evil birthing bitch I just want her birth to be stress free and especially after her birth while we are at home to be stress free. It probably ISN'T going to happen but we shall see.
This is going to be such a memorable Christmas and new year I cannot wait to meet this precious life growing inside of me!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
35 Weeks...
Oh yeah it has been forever since I have written a blog entry. But a lot has happened and I have been so BUSY BUSY BUSY!!!! Between work and getting the house ready for Kendall and cleaning for the Baby shower... Not to mention Childbirth classes or changing doctors/midwives.
Overall, life has been great. All the stress lately has been getting to me though. I have been well to put it nicely a bitch. But looking at all that I have dealt with I guess it is understandable.
Her room is finished minus a few things to hang on the wall and some organizing. The closet is packed full and we have just a few things left to buy. I had a WONDERFUL time at BOTH of my showers and got so many things and we are so thankful to have family and friends that love us and love Kendall already! :)
We absolutely adore this new office we are going to. Everyone shares our views and understands us. We are driving to Mooresville to see Dr Roque and CNM- Nicole and Marcia. The midwives will most likely be the ones who deliver Kendall and that is simply awesome! I get just what I wanted and so does my family. I get the midwife- Birth Center style birth and they get the security of having the Doctor right behind them with knowledge of OR in worst case scenario. It is so nice to go into this place and laugh and joke and not really feel like you are in a doctors office. I love each and every one of the nurses and staff at this new place and I have only been going since right after 28 weeks. We go again at 37 weeks and then we start going once a week.
My feet have begun to swell and pit on a regular basis now. The midwife wants my feet up after 2 hours of standing or working. They are not worried about it since protein is not showing up in my urine and my blood pressure has remained normal. It has gotten so much harder to do massages now as well. It isn't hard because of the belly I have learned to work around that now but it is hard to actually do them. A hot Stone Massage KILLS me now. It is so dang on hot in there even with a fan, I sweat my butt off. But I not only get hot during a Hot Stone massage anymore either its almost every massage I am sweating bullets. I think it is great exercise for me though. I have to relax through 50 minutes and of course bend my knees and continually think of my body mechanics. I am working through it and hopefully I can continue to work until her arrival.
I am having a hard time letting myself accept that people want to help. I want to do all these things by myself. I figure if I can't do them NOW while I am pregnant how can I adjust to doing them while having a baby? I figure that is a logical statement and logical reasoning. But I know how my brain works. If someone does something for me I get out of the habit of doing it myself and it that much harder for me to adjust back to doing it. Josh understands he will have help more around the house until I get my breastfeeding down pat and get back to a normal routine. He also understands he will have to handle the heat since we heat with wood. He hasn't yet let me lift a finger to bring wood in or start a fire or keep a fire going. I understand it will be difficult to adjust in the first days we are home and I am not insisting on No One coming over to help. I will be grateful for any help and I will just have to get over my OCD about where my dishes go, where my food goes, and how my clothes are folded etc.
Since we are birthing so far away I know everyone is going to want to meet Our Precious baby Kendall. Coming to meet her at the hospital may not be feasible for most people. We are welcoming anyone wanting to meet her to come after we announce we are home. But please understand the house could be a wreck and I do plan on exclusively breastfeeding so if it makes you uncomfortable you might want to wait until she isn't feeding so often and don't expect ME to go to a different room because it disgusts you. Please come with a positive attitude! I don't want to hear negative stories about breastfeeding or how your baby didn't sleep for days etc. Kendall will be her own little person and we will deal with it as it comes.
We had the BEST childbirth educator I could ask for-Vicki Moses. She was extraordinary! Josh and I feel so prepared (as we can be) and we feel ready for her arrival. She taught Josh and I many different techniques to help me and him during labor and the birth process. I really think if we didn't have her we would have totally freaked out when I began having contractions or my water broke. Now we both feel like we can handle it all pretty calmly and collectively.
So now that we are 35 weeks along we are patiently awaiting 37 weeks to 40 weeks and looking forward to meeting our precious daughter.(It seems to be flying along too!) I can't wait to hold her and love her. Midwife says the head is REALLY low and she can't move her head any more. I am so anxious to compare her face and body with Josh and I's to see who she resembles most. I am anxious for our dogs to meet her too! I just can't wait!
Overall, life has been great. All the stress lately has been getting to me though. I have been well to put it nicely a bitch. But looking at all that I have dealt with I guess it is understandable.
Her room is finished minus a few things to hang on the wall and some organizing. The closet is packed full and we have just a few things left to buy. I had a WONDERFUL time at BOTH of my showers and got so many things and we are so thankful to have family and friends that love us and love Kendall already! :)
We absolutely adore this new office we are going to. Everyone shares our views and understands us. We are driving to Mooresville to see Dr Roque and CNM- Nicole and Marcia. The midwives will most likely be the ones who deliver Kendall and that is simply awesome! I get just what I wanted and so does my family. I get the midwife- Birth Center style birth and they get the security of having the Doctor right behind them with knowledge of OR in worst case scenario. It is so nice to go into this place and laugh and joke and not really feel like you are in a doctors office. I love each and every one of the nurses and staff at this new place and I have only been going since right after 28 weeks. We go again at 37 weeks and then we start going once a week.
My feet have begun to swell and pit on a regular basis now. The midwife wants my feet up after 2 hours of standing or working. They are not worried about it since protein is not showing up in my urine and my blood pressure has remained normal. It has gotten so much harder to do massages now as well. It isn't hard because of the belly I have learned to work around that now but it is hard to actually do them. A hot Stone Massage KILLS me now. It is so dang on hot in there even with a fan, I sweat my butt off. But I not only get hot during a Hot Stone massage anymore either its almost every massage I am sweating bullets. I think it is great exercise for me though. I have to relax through 50 minutes and of course bend my knees and continually think of my body mechanics. I am working through it and hopefully I can continue to work until her arrival.
I am having a hard time letting myself accept that people want to help. I want to do all these things by myself. I figure if I can't do them NOW while I am pregnant how can I adjust to doing them while having a baby? I figure that is a logical statement and logical reasoning. But I know how my brain works. If someone does something for me I get out of the habit of doing it myself and it that much harder for me to adjust back to doing it. Josh understands he will have help more around the house until I get my breastfeeding down pat and get back to a normal routine. He also understands he will have to handle the heat since we heat with wood. He hasn't yet let me lift a finger to bring wood in or start a fire or keep a fire going. I understand it will be difficult to adjust in the first days we are home and I am not insisting on No One coming over to help. I will be grateful for any help and I will just have to get over my OCD about where my dishes go, where my food goes, and how my clothes are folded etc.
Since we are birthing so far away I know everyone is going to want to meet Our Precious baby Kendall. Coming to meet her at the hospital may not be feasible for most people. We are welcoming anyone wanting to meet her to come after we announce we are home. But please understand the house could be a wreck and I do plan on exclusively breastfeeding so if it makes you uncomfortable you might want to wait until she isn't feeding so often and don't expect ME to go to a different room because it disgusts you. Please come with a positive attitude! I don't want to hear negative stories about breastfeeding or how your baby didn't sleep for days etc. Kendall will be her own little person and we will deal with it as it comes.
We had the BEST childbirth educator I could ask for-Vicki Moses. She was extraordinary! Josh and I feel so prepared (as we can be) and we feel ready for her arrival. She taught Josh and I many different techniques to help me and him during labor and the birth process. I really think if we didn't have her we would have totally freaked out when I began having contractions or my water broke. Now we both feel like we can handle it all pretty calmly and collectively.
So now that we are 35 weeks along we are patiently awaiting 37 weeks to 40 weeks and looking forward to meeting our precious daughter.(It seems to be flying along too!) I can't wait to hold her and love her. Midwife says the head is REALLY low and she can't move her head any more. I am so anxious to compare her face and body with Josh and I's to see who she resembles most. I am anxious for our dogs to meet her too! I just can't wait!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Difference a year makes.
Ok, some of you out there know that I have questioned myself for becoming a massage therapist. I got pretty down on myself last year at this time because I wasn't making any money. I couldn't afford to keep my car, or the insurance, and I have taken loan after loan from my parents. I hate taking ANY loans but I feel horrible for taking it from my parents. Anyway, Josh and I were having hard times last year at this time trying to make ends meet. We dropped all unnecessary bills like our Droids and that gave us the freedom to drop $100 off our Verizon bill! We cut the Dish Network off, and really started watching our power and water use. Let me tell you that really helped but nothing like finding the perfect place to work. Josh and I argued over how I SHOULD have finished nursing school. I had actually made up my mind about going back to school. I studied hard for the TEAS test but failed it miserably we had a ton of drama going on that week and the night before the big test I had to feed not only Josh and I but an additional family. I am glad I was able to help them out however my test results proved it wasn't beneficial for the TEAS. I got so bummed out and depressed with myself. I felt worthless. I couldn't support my family and neither could Josh... we both were Aggravated but we made it through it and Josh's business picked up. (thank God) And in late March I had issues at Choice and quit. Which Josh wanted me to anyways. It made life difficult and then SURPRISE after a little tinkle on a stick with 2 pink lines we have more to think about... I don't have a job!!! And we are pregnant.
Job application after job application, driving around checking on them they all say apply online and wait. UGH! I hate hearing that. However, In June, I finally saw an ad for a massage therapist position, Josh and I both agreed it was worth a shot. The day after my birthday I did my practical massage on Julia and she said I was hired! What a relief. I drove to Greensboro every week slowly starting just on Fridays then adding Thursdays and Saturdays. I received a gas check for coming down there and my commission check. Although, the drive sucked at least I was making money.
Fast forward, September 16th Hand and Stone Massage and Facial Spa opened its doors in Winston. My location! I was so excited but understood it could be slow but I had three massages in the first day and that Saturday I had 5.5 hours of massage WITH requests! Oh how happy I was. Now the first check is coming up and I have actually been really busy at this location. I will have a great paycheck; one that makes ANY other place I have worked (even for myself) look bad. I am stoked. When you add in the tips it gets even better. Finally, we are on a road to which the grass is greener on the other side. We will make it. And this baby will have what it needs. I am over the moon with excitement and giddyness. A job, a job that I wanted, one that I have skills at doing one I went to school for and EARNED! I truly couldn't be happier. I am going to attempt to work as long as I can until Kendall makes her appearance or I have to go on bed rest. I hope my dreams will continue coming true. Soon I will have a precious baby girl named Kendall by my side and I will have the added joy of raising her but another part of me wants more on the business side as well.
I am hoping to be thought of for lead therapist in Winston. I know having the baby at this time could make it more difficult in my selection however, I feel I am up for it. I know I have done managerial work before and it would be even better to do it massage therapist style especially for this company! I am working my tail off trying to prove myself worthy. Work is steady and it is unbelievable how positive and upbeat I am about coming to work. I can only imagine more steady dependable income from here. This establishment KNOWS how to run a business. They understand this is how we make our living and they work hard at helping us achieve our dreams. All they ask is for is that you keep it drama free and follow Hand and Stone protocol. They take care of ALL The advertising and so far they have done a FABULOUS job!!! My life has done a complete turn around from how it was last year and I am loving it.
With a baby on the way and new job with great opportunities ahead of me, I would have to be crazy not to be excited and giddy about what lies ahead for next year!
Job application after job application, driving around checking on them they all say apply online and wait. UGH! I hate hearing that. However, In June, I finally saw an ad for a massage therapist position, Josh and I both agreed it was worth a shot. The day after my birthday I did my practical massage on Julia and she said I was hired! What a relief. I drove to Greensboro every week slowly starting just on Fridays then adding Thursdays and Saturdays. I received a gas check for coming down there and my commission check. Although, the drive sucked at least I was making money.
Fast forward, September 16th Hand and Stone Massage and Facial Spa opened its doors in Winston. My location! I was so excited but understood it could be slow but I had three massages in the first day and that Saturday I had 5.5 hours of massage WITH requests! Oh how happy I was. Now the first check is coming up and I have actually been really busy at this location. I will have a great paycheck; one that makes ANY other place I have worked (even for myself) look bad. I am stoked. When you add in the tips it gets even better. Finally, we are on a road to which the grass is greener on the other side. We will make it. And this baby will have what it needs. I am over the moon with excitement and giddyness. A job, a job that I wanted, one that I have skills at doing one I went to school for and EARNED! I truly couldn't be happier. I am going to attempt to work as long as I can until Kendall makes her appearance or I have to go on bed rest. I hope my dreams will continue coming true. Soon I will have a precious baby girl named Kendall by my side and I will have the added joy of raising her but another part of me wants more on the business side as well.
I am hoping to be thought of for lead therapist in Winston. I know having the baby at this time could make it more difficult in my selection however, I feel I am up for it. I know I have done managerial work before and it would be even better to do it massage therapist style especially for this company! I am working my tail off trying to prove myself worthy. Work is steady and it is unbelievable how positive and upbeat I am about coming to work. I can only imagine more steady dependable income from here. This establishment KNOWS how to run a business. They understand this is how we make our living and they work hard at helping us achieve our dreams. All they ask is for is that you keep it drama free and follow Hand and Stone protocol. They take care of ALL The advertising and so far they have done a FABULOUS job!!! My life has done a complete turn around from how it was last year and I am loving it.
With a baby on the way and new job with great opportunities ahead of me, I would have to be crazy not to be excited and giddy about what lies ahead for next year!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
At 28 weeks...
... Josh and I have decided to change OB's. We went to the hospital tour at High Point Regional on the 18th and were blown away. I really want to labor freely, free from IV's and the fetal Monitoring. They make a wireless option however we asked the nurses station how many they had and they have ONE! All the women in our tour group were wowed by this and one pregnant mom said "I guess we will have to fight for it huh". The is NO shower or tub in the birthing suite at all and it is very small. There also is no rocking chair. You only stay in the birthing suite about 2-3 hours after the birth and then you are moved to the postpartum room which is MUCH smaller than most kids bedrooms. It is makes Forsyth's postpartum room look like a birthing suite. They also said when the mother is in the process of changing rooms dad goes with baby to the admissions nursery. Where they end up staying for 2 hours. They are bathed here and stuck and prodded and the tour guide made it out like we weren't even asked about the Hep B vaccination it was mandatory I found out later they do give the option. However, it is still mandatory for baby to leave mom for 2 hours. So after the baby goes to the admitting nursery they are then cleared (if all looks well with baby) to go to the regular nursery. HPR has 3 different nurseries. So in all the baby is moved 3 times and mom is moved twice. Because of cramped space laboring freely would be very tough.
As most of you know I have very high standards for Kendall's birth. LOL! Probably too high and most of my birthing dreams won't happen but going to HPR pretty much throws everything Josh and I both want OUT THE WINDOW! We really wanted a water birth or at least help from water. We want to have the option to opt out of shots until her immune system can handle them. We want Kendall to be with us unless there is a medical emergency with her. I would like to stay in the same room and not be moved but I understand if another birth is awaiting our room. I would like to be able to move freely during birth and not be tied down to the bed as I said before with IV's and the fetal monitor. SOOOOOOOooooo.....
We looked into a birth center in Mooresville/Statesville and they are willing to accept us. They have only been open since August 1st so Medicaid doesn't cover us having the birth at the Center however, we can go to the hospital down there and have a Center Style Birth. They have 8 Birthing suites all 8 have Jacuzzi's to ease labor. The baby is delivered and placed upon moms belly wiped clean and mom and baby bond before placenta comes out after that the cord is cut. They only put mom on Fetal Monitor on at the beginning and if baby is showing problems and if no problems exist then the nurse will monitor with Doppler every 30 minutes or so. Therefore, you are able to labor in jacuzzi, rocking chair, birthing ball, birthing stool, or on all fours on bed etc. the discourage the use of laying in bed. Mom and dad are welcome to decline bathing/Vit K/Eye Ointment/and Hep B Vaccination. Of course doctor will talk with you however politely decline and no more questions are asked or pushed.
The birth center will also allow Josh and I to come down to labor at the birth center so we do not have to spend the entire labor at the hospital! There are 2 Certified Nurse Midwives and one doctor. Doctor Susan Roque. I have talked around and found out Dr Dorn isn't so gentle with tissues if you know what I mean and he has more tears than Dr Roque. Dr Roque does more massage and warming up the peritoneal area to help ease tearing. Another point for Dr Roque. Also it helps she is a woman.
So they asked we go to Dr Dorn's office for our regular appointment next week. We will have our glucose test done and as we leave we ask for our Record Request to be faxed to Dr Roque. We will see her 3 weeks later on October 11th. I am so glad we found out before we had to endure our first childs birth there at HPR. And for those who live in Surry County we also had looked into Elkin Hospital however, they refused to allow us off the fetal monitor or allowing us to have a Hep-Lock.
We are really excited now about our birth of our first baby since we know it will probably more of what we pictured and dreamed. We have hired a childbirth educator that has worked with many home birth mom and dads and she will be coming to our house to teach us how to labor naturally without medical intervention or medicine starting October 17th. It is so crazy to think that in 13-14 weeks it will be Christmas and I will be toting a precious baby girl in my arms! I think it just might be the best Christmas of my life!!! :) 28 weeks down 12 more to go!!!
As most of you know I have very high standards for Kendall's birth. LOL! Probably too high and most of my birthing dreams won't happen but going to HPR pretty much throws everything Josh and I both want OUT THE WINDOW! We really wanted a water birth or at least help from water. We want to have the option to opt out of shots until her immune system can handle them. We want Kendall to be with us unless there is a medical emergency with her. I would like to stay in the same room and not be moved but I understand if another birth is awaiting our room. I would like to be able to move freely during birth and not be tied down to the bed as I said before with IV's and the fetal monitor. SOOOOOOOooooo.....
We looked into a birth center in Mooresville/Statesville and they are willing to accept us. They have only been open since August 1st so Medicaid doesn't cover us having the birth at the Center however, we can go to the hospital down there and have a Center Style Birth. They have 8 Birthing suites all 8 have Jacuzzi's to ease labor. The baby is delivered and placed upon moms belly wiped clean and mom and baby bond before placenta comes out after that the cord is cut. They only put mom on Fetal Monitor on at the beginning and if baby is showing problems and if no problems exist then the nurse will monitor with Doppler every 30 minutes or so. Therefore, you are able to labor in jacuzzi, rocking chair, birthing ball, birthing stool, or on all fours on bed etc. the discourage the use of laying in bed. Mom and dad are welcome to decline bathing/Vit K/Eye Ointment/and Hep B Vaccination. Of course doctor will talk with you however politely decline and no more questions are asked or pushed.
The birth center will also allow Josh and I to come down to labor at the birth center so we do not have to spend the entire labor at the hospital! There are 2 Certified Nurse Midwives and one doctor. Doctor Susan Roque. I have talked around and found out Dr Dorn isn't so gentle with tissues if you know what I mean and he has more tears than Dr Roque. Dr Roque does more massage and warming up the peritoneal area to help ease tearing. Another point for Dr Roque. Also it helps she is a woman.
So they asked we go to Dr Dorn's office for our regular appointment next week. We will have our glucose test done and as we leave we ask for our Record Request to be faxed to Dr Roque. We will see her 3 weeks later on October 11th. I am so glad we found out before we had to endure our first childs birth there at HPR. And for those who live in Surry County we also had looked into Elkin Hospital however, they refused to allow us off the fetal monitor or allowing us to have a Hep-Lock.
We are really excited now about our birth of our first baby since we know it will probably more of what we pictured and dreamed. We have hired a childbirth educator that has worked with many home birth mom and dads and she will be coming to our house to teach us how to labor naturally without medical intervention or medicine starting October 17th. It is so crazy to think that in 13-14 weeks it will be Christmas and I will be toting a precious baby girl in my arms! I think it just might be the best Christmas of my life!!! :) 28 weeks down 12 more to go!!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Positive Birth Affirmations...
It is important for family and friends of mine to realize every birth is different. Every person is different therefore every woman's body is different and every newborn entering the world is different. So we have to expect their birth to be different. Everyone wants a different birth an easy birth. If a mother-to-be wants a stress free and drug-free birth everyone should support them and not tell them all the bad things that could or will happen during the birth. It is all about good Birth Affirmations. If the mother has a great support system from friends and family her birth will be enjoyable and her precious baby will be born just the way she envisioned.
I invite you to take a look at the clicky link above about "Birth Affirmations" and I encourage you to continue to encourage me. I want a birth that is easy and carefree and your words can encourage me.
I don't wish to hear horror stories anymore or hear the fact you don't believe I can accomplish the birth I want. I have read PLENTY of stories and heard PLENTY of birth stories. I don't have to hear how your child was born and how terrible your pain was or how great the Epidural is and how I WILL change my mind about it. Pain is something we all view differently in other words what hurts you might not hurt to me. Just the same as you and I have different taste buds we have different pain receptors. While I may feel pain during childbirth I may not feel the amount of pain you did. I might be lucky enough to feel more pressure than pain. It is all in how your support system supports the mother. Therefore, my family should understand if I feel like I need time alone or quietness in the room or etc. that I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I might end up needing my mother more than Josh? Everyone should remain flexible and understanding. And come to the birth of Kendall understanding they may not "see" her enter the world. Who knows what I will need but I am in no way trying to hurt anyone's feelings. But I do promise to let everyone see her and hold her and caress her shortly after her arrival.
I want everyone that intends to be present for the birth of Kendall to be aware of my wishes and my hopes for her birth and to not feel offended or hurt by what I may say or do. You might agree today but please remember my plea I make today. Please support me and Josh and encourage a easy and carefree birth. Give us Positive Birth Affirmations especially the closer to the due date.
Below I am posting my "List" this is a list I will be giving Dr Dorn and Hospital Staff. And I believe anyone that plans to be present at the birth and afterward should know all my wishes because SOME could apply to you and you may be able to help clarify for the hospital staff if something may present itself.
I invite you to take a look at the clicky link above about "Birth Affirmations" and I encourage you to continue to encourage me. I want a birth that is easy and carefree and your words can encourage me.
I don't wish to hear horror stories anymore or hear the fact you don't believe I can accomplish the birth I want. I have read PLENTY of stories and heard PLENTY of birth stories. I don't have to hear how your child was born and how terrible your pain was or how great the Epidural is and how I WILL change my mind about it. Pain is something we all view differently in other words what hurts you might not hurt to me. Just the same as you and I have different taste buds we have different pain receptors. While I may feel pain during childbirth I may not feel the amount of pain you did. I might be lucky enough to feel more pressure than pain. It is all in how your support system supports the mother. Therefore, my family should understand if I feel like I need time alone or quietness in the room or etc. that I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I might end up needing my mother more than Josh? Everyone should remain flexible and understanding. And come to the birth of Kendall understanding they may not "see" her enter the world. Who knows what I will need but I am in no way trying to hurt anyone's feelings. But I do promise to let everyone see her and hold her and caress her shortly after her arrival.
I want everyone that intends to be present for the birth of Kendall to be aware of my wishes and my hopes for her birth and to not feel offended or hurt by what I may say or do. You might agree today but please remember my plea I make today. Please support me and Josh and encourage a easy and carefree birth. Give us Positive Birth Affirmations especially the closer to the due date.
Below I am posting my "List" this is a list I will be giving Dr Dorn and Hospital Staff. And I believe anyone that plans to be present at the birth and afterward should know all my wishes because SOME could apply to you and you may be able to help clarify for the hospital staff if something may present itself.
- Request Hep-Lock
- Request Wireless Fetal Monitor with no external or internal monitoring
- Request NO Epidural, Stadol or Demerol
- Request NO pitocin
- Unless emergency, Delayed Cord Clamping
- Skin to skin contact immediately after birth
- Request Apgar Test to be completed on my chest, unless emergency baby isn't to be taken away from me for any measurements etc.
- Breastfeeding takes priority over ANY pictures
- Even if born Pre-maturely ONLY breast milk is to be given
- Request Delayed Bathing- If blood is present it may be wiped away
- Request Delayed Eye Ointment
- Request Rooming in unless medical Emergency
- No Hep B vaccination UNLESS baby MUST be taken to NICU
- If Cesarean Section is the ABSOLUTELY only option and baby is not in fetal distress skin to skin contact is REQUIRED after birth and breast milk should be encouraged as soon as possible.
Some of the things on the list may upset you but I assume if you want to attend the birth then you respect my decisions and if not I do not expect you to attend the birth of Kendall. I have good reasoning for every one of the things mentioned above.
I hope I have not offended anyone if so I am very sorry but this is something Josh and I have spoken about for months I figure it is a great time to post since Kendall's Birth is just a few weeks away. It will be here before we know it. I hope you respect our decisions and hopes for Kendall's Birth.
Here is a photo of 26 weeks!
While I am on a topic of respect:
Please understand I have always had an issue with what people think of my body. Please respect me and my body word things differently. As Josh says it gives me a complex. I am NORMAL size for 7 months pregnant and have gained a NORMAL amount of weight. Josh has to tell me how great I look almost everyday to make me feel better about my pregnancy body. In my head I know I am small and there are times I think my belly appears larger but Kendall can move and I look small by the end of the day. Thanks to everyone who has been considerate of my feelings! <3 yall!
While I am on a topic of respect:
Please understand I have always had an issue with what people think of my body. Please respect me and my body word things differently. As Josh says it gives me a complex. I am NORMAL size for 7 months pregnant and have gained a NORMAL amount of weight. Josh has to tell me how great I look almost everyday to make me feel better about my pregnancy body. In my head I know I am small and there are times I think my belly appears larger but Kendall can move and I look small by the end of the day. Thanks to everyone who has been considerate of my feelings! <3 yall!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Things are coming together...
As life seems to create a new pregnancy normal we get slammed in the face with a million things to do! Josh has to renew his dealer license and I have to renew my massage license. We are touring High Point Regional September 18th. We are beginning a hypnobirthing class on September 8th. Third Trimester begins on the 20th of September! Hand and Stone will be requesting more hours from me since Winston location will be opening in 16 or so days. And my Daddy has been coming by on the weekends to help get the house ready for Kendall. We still have to take the window out between the laundry room and her room, paint etc. We have 2 baby showers scheduled. October 29th is one my parents are throwing in Mount Airy. November 5th is the Rural Hall shower and Amy and Angie are throwing it but I believe we are doing a couples shower and there will be alcohol involved and BBQ and Cornhole!!! So maybe not so showery!!! We still have to get the waterstove installed and working not to mention all the wood we need to have stacked! I think if we could hire work it still couldn't be done in time!
Thankfully, like I said before, my parents have been helping getting the house ready and my mother has went insane with buying clothes! Kendall will definitively have enough clothes! (She has some super cute stuff and some adorable PUMA's) Josh's mom has bought some summery clothes for Kendall later on. Josh's Dad, Step-mom and Step-sisters and Brother are pitching in for all the bedding we want for Kendall. They have told us they were ordering it soon! I am super excited for that; it seems like I am wanting to nest but feel like I can't pull anything together right now. I feel misplaced. Maybe I did misplace myself somewhere...
Things are coming together for us but it is a hectic time for us right now. I find myself overwhelmed with things that could be done or need to be bought but I let them slide because I know my friends and family are going to take care of most things. That part is hard! I have continued buying things I know my friends and family might not buy like cloth diapers and a ring sling to die for!!! For now I guess, I will have to endure the busy September only to come to October which will mean only 8 or 10 weeks before we meet Kendall.
Yes, I do find it strange that I am now beginning to get overwhelmed. I have known for 20 plus weeks we were pregnant. But holding Amy's precious Baby Benjamin made me slap myself in the head basically and wowed me because this really is happening inside me. I cried and cried last Tuesday when I held him for the first time. I can't believe I will have small human body that is part me and part Josh to care for in just a few weeks. Someone that we both created. You go through pregnancy with this notion of I will have a baby at the end of 40 weeks but then you hold a newborn who is your best friends baby who has been with me from the beginning of this pregnancy; those notions fade and you realize what is really growing inside of you--- Kendall Reese Ferguson is growing inside of me a part of Josh and I something we created out of love. It is simply amazing. I love that little Benjamin so much and I can't imagine holding something I have grown from Josh and I both. It isn't like holding a puppy. It is something so amazing I can't put it into words. This is what has me overwhelmed.
I am growing a small human inside of me and I have to take care of it from now till the day I die... I know I will be a great mother because I had some of the greatest motherly role models out there! (ie. my mother and Granny Wanda and Granny Penley) They each contribute something different to my parenting skills. I also know Josh will be a wonderful father because I see the way he looks at other babies now. He is different now too. He loves her so much already. He is so excited to meet her and teach her new things.
We are both shocked we have created a beautiful baby girl that is growing inside of me and now every part of us wants her to stay put until we can get everything perfect just for her. Josh even mentioned trying to keep her inside the womb until she is 4 years old. LOL. We know that can't happen and we understand she will make her appearance when SHE is ready whether we are ready here at home or not. So I don't think we are scared to have a child I think it is the mere fact we are going from 2 people with 2 dogs and 10 chickens to 2 people +a newborn baby girl+ 2 dogs+ 10 chickens... I am sure that it just first time jitters of having a baby. I am totally in love with Kendall I love every single kick and uncomfortable rib jab she can give me and I can't wait to hold my precious Snow Bunny. By the way, we have finally come to a conclusion on a name...
Kendall Reese Ferguson
With that said, I must drift off to my crazy dreams since it is late!
Thankfully, like I said before, my parents have been helping getting the house ready and my mother has went insane with buying clothes! Kendall will definitively have enough clothes! (She has some super cute stuff and some adorable PUMA's) Josh's mom has bought some summery clothes for Kendall later on. Josh's Dad, Step-mom and Step-sisters and Brother are pitching in for all the bedding we want for Kendall. They have told us they were ordering it soon! I am super excited for that; it seems like I am wanting to nest but feel like I can't pull anything together right now. I feel misplaced. Maybe I did misplace myself somewhere...
Things are coming together for us but it is a hectic time for us right now. I find myself overwhelmed with things that could be done or need to be bought but I let them slide because I know my friends and family are going to take care of most things. That part is hard! I have continued buying things I know my friends and family might not buy like cloth diapers and a ring sling to die for!!! For now I guess, I will have to endure the busy September only to come to October which will mean only 8 or 10 weeks before we meet Kendall.
Yes, I do find it strange that I am now beginning to get overwhelmed. I have known for 20 plus weeks we were pregnant. But holding Amy's precious Baby Benjamin made me slap myself in the head basically and wowed me because this really is happening inside me. I cried and cried last Tuesday when I held him for the first time. I can't believe I will have small human body that is part me and part Josh to care for in just a few weeks. Someone that we both created. You go through pregnancy with this notion of I will have a baby at the end of 40 weeks but then you hold a newborn who is your best friends baby who has been with me from the beginning of this pregnancy; those notions fade and you realize what is really growing inside of you--- Kendall Reese Ferguson is growing inside of me a part of Josh and I something we created out of love. It is simply amazing. I love that little Benjamin so much and I can't imagine holding something I have grown from Josh and I both. It isn't like holding a puppy. It is something so amazing I can't put it into words. This is what has me overwhelmed.
I am growing a small human inside of me and I have to take care of it from now till the day I die... I know I will be a great mother because I had some of the greatest motherly role models out there! (ie. my mother and Granny Wanda and Granny Penley) They each contribute something different to my parenting skills. I also know Josh will be a wonderful father because I see the way he looks at other babies now. He is different now too. He loves her so much already. He is so excited to meet her and teach her new things.
We are both shocked we have created a beautiful baby girl that is growing inside of me and now every part of us wants her to stay put until we can get everything perfect just for her. Josh even mentioned trying to keep her inside the womb until she is 4 years old. LOL. We know that can't happen and we understand she will make her appearance when SHE is ready whether we are ready here at home or not. So I don't think we are scared to have a child I think it is the mere fact we are going from 2 people with 2 dogs and 10 chickens to 2 people +a newborn baby girl+ 2 dogs+ 10 chickens... I am sure that it just first time jitters of having a baby. I am totally in love with Kendall I love every single kick and uncomfortable rib jab she can give me and I can't wait to hold my precious Snow Bunny. By the way, we have finally come to a conclusion on a name...
Kendall Reese Ferguson
With that said, I must drift off to my crazy dreams since it is late!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
"Looks like you got a vagina on your hands!!!!"
We finally get to see our precious Baby again! We had our first scan at 7 weeks and 1 day. We waited until July 28th only to get a call the day before telling us Dr Dorn was having to do a surgery that day. So we got pushed back until August 2nd. At 21 weeks exactly we finally got to see our baby as a *baby* instead as a bean like we saw the first time.
Josh and I both were really excited to have another ultrasound. He showed us the head were the brain and cerebellum was, the different chambers of the heart, where the kidneys were, he measured each of these parts and then rolls around my tummy to get to the butt to measure the femur. There were no wieners in sight here! I glanced to Josh and he was beaming, smiling ear to ear! It was so exciting because I knew I had been right along!My mom and dad were even more happier! But I was happy Josh had a smile on his face because I know he really wanted a boy. But Dr Dorn still hadn't told us it was either yet he kept trying to get a different angle to see if it could possibly be a boy finally he says, "Welp, looks like you got a vagina on your hands!"
My mom gave me a big smooch on the cheek and Josh smiled even bigger! All organs and bones are growing perfectly and she almost weighs a full pound! Dr Dorn tried and tried to find us a great profile shot but she was being *shy* so to say and she kept her hands above her face which cast a shadow making it difficult to get a great profile of her. Just as he printed the photo she rolled and gave us an amazing profile shot! I was so delighted! You can see her face and her arm and her tiny hand, and her belly and leg. It was truly amazing.
Josh and I both were really excited to have another ultrasound. He showed us the head were the brain and cerebellum was, the different chambers of the heart, where the kidneys were, he measured each of these parts and then rolls around my tummy to get to the butt to measure the femur. There were no wieners in sight here! I glanced to Josh and he was beaming, smiling ear to ear! It was so exciting because I knew I had been right along!My mom and dad were even more happier! But I was happy Josh had a smile on his face because I know he really wanted a boy. But Dr Dorn still hadn't told us it was either yet he kept trying to get a different angle to see if it could possibly be a boy finally he says, "Welp, looks like you got a vagina on your hands!"
My mom gave me a big smooch on the cheek and Josh smiled even bigger! All organs and bones are growing perfectly and she almost weighs a full pound! Dr Dorn tried and tried to find us a great profile shot but she was being *shy* so to say and she kept her hands above her face which cast a shadow making it difficult to get a great profile of her. Just as he printed the photo she rolled and gave us an amazing profile shot! I was so delighted! You can see her face and her arm and her tiny hand, and her belly and leg. It was truly amazing.
We are having a GIRL!!!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Picture Overload.
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| 12 weeks 3 days |
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| 14 weeks |
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| Interview at Hand and Stone Massage and Facial Spa at 16 weeks! |
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| 17 weeks and 3 days |
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| Our Crib put together!!! |
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| 18 weeks |
I have been very slack since about 11 weeks about putting pictures up. But we are now up to speed with our last post of 18 weeks. I am very excited to say I have a "real" bump now, since earlier in the pregnancy it was really just bloat.
It truly is amazing how this little person growing inside of me can move and knows my voice. I swear when I sing in the shower or the car this little person inside of me moves like crazy! Probably because I sing so terribly now since I have such awful nasal congestion! LOL. Sounds of Josh working affect this little one,the 4th of July was crazy with movement and it has now began to "run" from Josh's touch. I also think this baby loves to ride almost every time we get into a vehicle it now moves a lot. I have just a about forgotten what my body felt like without a baby moving inside of me. It is so spectacular I really don't want it to end!
In 15 days we find will be able to stop calling it an "it" I will be very grateful for that. I feel terrible calling The kid or "it". We are very excited to know the sex but I also want to know about the rest of the anatomy scan. I want to be reassured everything is growing right on track.
Yesterday, (July 12th) I went to my WIC appointment and I have only gained a total of 6 pounds; on June 30th at our last OB appointment I had only gained a total of 3 pounds. WIC isn't too terribly worried about the weight but they did say it was under what I should be. They believe I will make it up since it is still early. At the OB office however, the nurse practioner believes I will only gain 20 pounds tops. We shall only see with time.
I have been crazy will energy for the last few days. I have cleaned out the entire baby's nursery and cleaned all the bouncers, jumpers, and saucers. I have even made a cover for the bouncer since it had bleach spots from where we cleaned it. It is red with red white and blue plaid on the inside. I will post pictures when I am done and can remember. I am really digging this energy even if I need a nap around 4 I wake up with just as much energy! Hope it continues. And I hope I can remember to continue to keep this blog going.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Happy news and Disturbing News.
Well, I have been slack lately and not really updating the blog. Sorry.
Last Monday right before I turned 15 weeks; I had been cleaning the bath tub and the tub surround little by little working on it all day since my legs and feet would go numb from squatting. As I was finishing up I felt this baby going crazy inside of me I just HAD to see if Josh could feel anything! He was on the computer in the laundry room so I let him keep doing what he was doing and took the back of his left hand and pressed it pretty firmly against my uterus. I stood there smiling still feeling the baby going wild for about 45 seconds before he looked at me bug eyed, ripped his hand away from me and demanded to know if I farted. (LMAO) I believe it really scared him and it was not a gas bubble of mine. I of course had to question what he felt and he explained it feel like what he would *imagine* a gas bubble or hunger sounds to feel like on the outside of someone else. He felt 1 big one and 2 additional *taps* as I call them. He has yet to feel it again although we keep trying. But I do believe it made it a little more "real" for him being able to feel our precious SnowBaby move inside of me.
Thursday this past week was quite eventful though. We cooked hamburgers on the grill, went and picked Jeremy up, lit tiki torches around the deck and were hanging out. And Tate and his girlfriend came by they were getting ready to leave but around 10:30pm a Burgundy/Red step side Chevy S-10 came creeping by went down Payne Road and turned around somewhere and circled in print shop parking lot and parked. There were 2 guys in the cab and one in the bed of the truck. Two of these guys got out and ran what looked like in to the woods behind Matt's house. Matt wasn't home so Josh and Jeremy ran across the yard and sneaked up on the guys. They had gotten into the building behind Don Fain's house and had stolen a leaf blower, air tank and get this 2 folding chairs. Jeremy and Josh ran out into the road and the guys were dumbfounded when they saw them. They immediately dropped the items and began pleading to Josh and Jeremy to please let them go, They would even put the stuff back.
Josh and Jeremy refused. Jeremy began to call 911 just as I was. I stayed on the line and gave the license plate number PTH-6696 to the operator. Described the truck to them and stayed on the phone describing what was happening the entire time. I had my Mag-Lite with me I would shine the light in their eyes to get a better look at them. Jeremy and Josh were trying to get the keys away from the robbers so that the cops could get there and arrest these idiots. The robbers were throwing the keys to one another. Josh was in a confrontation at the back of the truck with the smallest of the three that was wearing Vans and a grey flat billed hat with an "a" on it. Jeremy was trying to get the keys from the blonde headed kid and he was rolling the window up on Jeremy's arms. Jeremy was adrenaline filled so to get out he pulled on the glass and the glass shattered. This glass flying left me backing up and somehow I ended up in front of the vehicle. Stupid I know. I was still on the phone with the operator at this time as well. Josh didn't really see me in front of the vehicle at that time and was fighting with the short guy when they pushed the clutch in and cranked the truck. Josh threw the small guy down as I was beginning to get ran over the guy driving was a bald headed 20 something white T-shirt wearing guy.
He was scared shitless and so was I. I kept screaming are you really going to run over a effin Pregnant woman. Time really was standing still although I know it was speeding along VERY quickly. I could feel my legs going UNDER the truck. I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking to myself. This baby will not make it if I fall under this low truck I might not make it either. Still on the phone with the cops, somehow I grew wings and managed to move towards the right. Narrowly escaping the wheel and basically narrowly escaping with my life and the life of my unborn child. Scary stuff right there! Josh was still going after the short guy Josh managed to push him down but he grabbed the tailgate of the truck and the driver began DRAGGING him down Payne Road. His clothes were smoking. He lost both shoes then he fell only gripping the bumper and he was screaming for them to stop. As they turned a left onto Highway 66 towards Stanleyville he did like 5-6 flips into Shirley's yard lost his hat. His buddies stopped and the short guy managed to jump into the bed of the truck.
And it was over. They were gone. We have yet to hear if they caught these guys yet. Although Friday morning Josh believes he saw the short dark headed guy come back to try to get his shoes in a white Honda Civic. And Friday evening Jeremy saw the truck parked at the car wash vacuuming out the glass. We rode up there Josh wanted to kick their ass for almost running me over but they were gone already. The sheriffs said the plate ran back to Walkertown and came back to Burgundy/Red s-10 truck. So whats the deal why can't they find these guys? They are suppose to get a larceny charge and assault with a deadly weapon. I don't know the laws since I was pregnant however, I really hope these guys get JUSTICE.
I have been worried sick about our baby since Thursday night. The baby definitely doesn't move as much as it was and that is scary. I have not had any Bloody discharge or any other signs of possible miscarry and I pray nothing happens and this baby sticks like glue!!! I go back for a regular appointment on June 30th. I really hope I get to see this baby I know to see that heartbeat would be even better reassurance for me. I was praying that we find out the gender on Thursday but now I just want the reassurance that it's still there and its ok.
Last Monday right before I turned 15 weeks; I had been cleaning the bath tub and the tub surround little by little working on it all day since my legs and feet would go numb from squatting. As I was finishing up I felt this baby going crazy inside of me I just HAD to see if Josh could feel anything! He was on the computer in the laundry room so I let him keep doing what he was doing and took the back of his left hand and pressed it pretty firmly against my uterus. I stood there smiling still feeling the baby going wild for about 45 seconds before he looked at me bug eyed, ripped his hand away from me and demanded to know if I farted. (LMAO) I believe it really scared him and it was not a gas bubble of mine. I of course had to question what he felt and he explained it feel like what he would *imagine* a gas bubble or hunger sounds to feel like on the outside of someone else. He felt 1 big one and 2 additional *taps* as I call them. He has yet to feel it again although we keep trying. But I do believe it made it a little more "real" for him being able to feel our precious SnowBaby move inside of me.
Thursday this past week was quite eventful though. We cooked hamburgers on the grill, went and picked Jeremy up, lit tiki torches around the deck and were hanging out. And Tate and his girlfriend came by they were getting ready to leave but around 10:30pm a Burgundy/Red step side Chevy S-10 came creeping by went down Payne Road and turned around somewhere and circled in print shop parking lot and parked. There were 2 guys in the cab and one in the bed of the truck. Two of these guys got out and ran what looked like in to the woods behind Matt's house. Matt wasn't home so Josh and Jeremy ran across the yard and sneaked up on the guys. They had gotten into the building behind Don Fain's house and had stolen a leaf blower, air tank and get this 2 folding chairs. Jeremy and Josh ran out into the road and the guys were dumbfounded when they saw them. They immediately dropped the items and began pleading to Josh and Jeremy to please let them go, They would even put the stuff back.
Josh and Jeremy refused. Jeremy began to call 911 just as I was. I stayed on the line and gave the license plate number PTH-6696 to the operator. Described the truck to them and stayed on the phone describing what was happening the entire time. I had my Mag-Lite with me I would shine the light in their eyes to get a better look at them. Jeremy and Josh were trying to get the keys away from the robbers so that the cops could get there and arrest these idiots. The robbers were throwing the keys to one another. Josh was in a confrontation at the back of the truck with the smallest of the three that was wearing Vans and a grey flat billed hat with an "a" on it. Jeremy was trying to get the keys from the blonde headed kid and he was rolling the window up on Jeremy's arms. Jeremy was adrenaline filled so to get out he pulled on the glass and the glass shattered. This glass flying left me backing up and somehow I ended up in front of the vehicle. Stupid I know. I was still on the phone with the operator at this time as well. Josh didn't really see me in front of the vehicle at that time and was fighting with the short guy when they pushed the clutch in and cranked the truck. Josh threw the small guy down as I was beginning to get ran over the guy driving was a bald headed 20 something white T-shirt wearing guy.
He was scared shitless and so was I. I kept screaming are you really going to run over a effin Pregnant woman. Time really was standing still although I know it was speeding along VERY quickly. I could feel my legs going UNDER the truck. I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking to myself. This baby will not make it if I fall under this low truck I might not make it either. Still on the phone with the cops, somehow I grew wings and managed to move towards the right. Narrowly escaping the wheel and basically narrowly escaping with my life and the life of my unborn child. Scary stuff right there! Josh was still going after the short guy Josh managed to push him down but he grabbed the tailgate of the truck and the driver began DRAGGING him down Payne Road. His clothes were smoking. He lost both shoes then he fell only gripping the bumper and he was screaming for them to stop. As they turned a left onto Highway 66 towards Stanleyville he did like 5-6 flips into Shirley's yard lost his hat. His buddies stopped and the short guy managed to jump into the bed of the truck.
And it was over. They were gone. We have yet to hear if they caught these guys yet. Although Friday morning Josh believes he saw the short dark headed guy come back to try to get his shoes in a white Honda Civic. And Friday evening Jeremy saw the truck parked at the car wash vacuuming out the glass. We rode up there Josh wanted to kick their ass for almost running me over but they were gone already. The sheriffs said the plate ran back to Walkertown and came back to Burgundy/Red s-10 truck. So whats the deal why can't they find these guys? They are suppose to get a larceny charge and assault with a deadly weapon. I don't know the laws since I was pregnant however, I really hope these guys get JUSTICE.
I have been worried sick about our baby since Thursday night. The baby definitely doesn't move as much as it was and that is scary. I have not had any Bloody discharge or any other signs of possible miscarry and I pray nothing happens and this baby sticks like glue!!! I go back for a regular appointment on June 30th. I really hope I get to see this baby I know to see that heartbeat would be even better reassurance for me. I was praying that we find out the gender on Thursday but now I just want the reassurance that it's still there and its ok.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
June 5th, The day I married my Soulmate.
One year ago today our friends and family gathered
to see my best friend and I marry each other. From
that day forward, we said for better or for worse.
Marriage isn't easy and there was a time where I
didn't know if we could live up to that promise, but
we did, we made it through it and our relationship
grew stronger.
We said for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, and we support each other and we nurse one another back from being sick. Although, Josh isn't the best at it, no one can take care of you like you parents did, the important part is he tries! When I quit my job Josh understood and actually wanted me too since it was driving me crazy and he has yet complain about money! We said for richer or for poorer and since we were poor when we married one year ago I guess its easy for us to deal with being super poor. LOL.
We said to love and to cherish; until death do us
part. We are head over heels in love with each other
even through those times I know he would love to smack me upside the head and I would love to bop
him one too I still cherish my time with him and
love him unconditionally.
Last year we took our vows and meant it and
now one year later we have a precious baby
growing inside of me. Life couldn't be much
better!!!
to see my best friend and I marry each other. From
that day forward, we said for better or for worse.
Marriage isn't easy and there was a time where I
didn't know if we could live up to that promise, but
we did, we made it through it and our relationship
grew stronger.
We said for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, and we support each other and we nurse one another back from being sick. Although, Josh isn't the best at it, no one can take care of you like you parents did, the important part is he tries! When I quit my job Josh understood and actually wanted me too since it was driving me crazy and he has yet complain about money! We said for richer or for poorer and since we were poor when we married one year ago I guess its easy for us to deal with being super poor. LOL.
We said to love and to cherish; until death do us
part. We are head over heels in love with each other
even through those times I know he would love to smack me upside the head and I would love to bop
him one too I still cherish my time with him and
love him unconditionally.
Last year we took our vows and meant it and
now one year later we have a precious baby
growing inside of me. Life couldn't be much
better!!!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Nine Days until...
Nine Days until our First Year anniversary!!!!
It truly is hard to believe a year has gone by. It has been a year since we got married! I remember thinking about planning our wedding and getting everything ready and nine days before our big day we were a mess! We had so many things to get ready since we had the reception at our house. Everything turned out so wonderful. If I could go back I would have changed the time to a little later since it was SO INCREDIBLY hot that day!
Who would have thought a year from our wedding day we would be pregnant! We will be 12 weeks and 5 days!!!!
Yesterday, we went to our checkup for our Snowbaby. Our Snowbaby was doing really well and had a normal heart rate of 155. We didn't get a ultrasound but hearing that heartbeat was the most precious sound I have ever heard. I can't wait to see our Snowbaby again at the end of July. It will be the middle or end of July when we find out the size of all the organs, brain, and of course find out the gender. Dr Dorn during our first appointment did believe we might be able to see at the end of June however the nurse practitioner- Kelly believes it will be middle or end of July.
My uterus has begun to protrude which Kelly was very happy about. That was the determining factor in hearing the heart beat this early on a doppler. Kelly performed normal screenings on my and concluded everything was fine! She wants me to continue to work in the garden and spend 30-40 minutes walking everyday as well as doing some core strength to strengthen my back and possibly looking into Pre-Natal Yoga.
Josh and I have been working on our garden. We worked very hard yesterday. I slung rocks out a lower field for at least and hour and Josh and I spent another hour or 2 planting 64 pepper plants. Yes, we are planning a community garden that's the reason for so many plants. That and you have plants enough for the deer and other creatures to eat as well! :)
Needless to say I am wore slap out today! I am looking forward to finishing our garden and begin reaping the benefits! I am looking forward to this baby and looking forward to this Sunday after next for our Anniversary!
It truly is hard to believe a year has gone by. It has been a year since we got married! I remember thinking about planning our wedding and getting everything ready and nine days before our big day we were a mess! We had so many things to get ready since we had the reception at our house. Everything turned out so wonderful. If I could go back I would have changed the time to a little later since it was SO INCREDIBLY hot that day!
Who would have thought a year from our wedding day we would be pregnant! We will be 12 weeks and 5 days!!!!
Yesterday, we went to our checkup for our Snowbaby. Our Snowbaby was doing really well and had a normal heart rate of 155. We didn't get a ultrasound but hearing that heartbeat was the most precious sound I have ever heard. I can't wait to see our Snowbaby again at the end of July. It will be the middle or end of July when we find out the size of all the organs, brain, and of course find out the gender. Dr Dorn during our first appointment did believe we might be able to see at the end of June however the nurse practitioner- Kelly believes it will be middle or end of July.
My uterus has begun to protrude which Kelly was very happy about. That was the determining factor in hearing the heart beat this early on a doppler. Kelly performed normal screenings on my and concluded everything was fine! She wants me to continue to work in the garden and spend 30-40 minutes walking everyday as well as doing some core strength to strengthen my back and possibly looking into Pre-Natal Yoga.
Josh and I have been working on our garden. We worked very hard yesterday. I slung rocks out a lower field for at least and hour and Josh and I spent another hour or 2 planting 64 pepper plants. Yes, we are planning a community garden that's the reason for so many plants. That and you have plants enough for the deer and other creatures to eat as well! :)
Needless to say I am wore slap out today! I am looking forward to finishing our garden and begin reaping the benefits! I am looking forward to this baby and looking forward to this Sunday after next for our Anniversary!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
11 Weeks
Thursday this week we will have another appointment. I am really excited as we will see and fetus this time! Its so exciting to hear the heartbeat hopefully he or she will allow us to hear it!
Prior to this week I have felt very bloated but unable to wear my "normal" fitting clothes. My mom bought a ton of maternity clothes for me that has helped tremendously. I have begun to feel better and don't gag as much. I am able to keep most every meal down, so that is really exciting as well! My skin, however, is a different story. My eczema that was once healed before pregnancy has come back full-force. It has become almost unbearable for me. It's to that point again, pain, discomfort, cracking, peeling, bleeding. I have become fed up and I will be requesting ointment to help me this Thursday. I truly want to have my beautiful skin back!
I have begun to feel what I believe is our little Snowbaby. Josh is very skeptical about it though. He believes its gas. But the jabs are felt right above the pubic bone and sometimes roll horizontally. Of course Josh can't fell these so its hard to make him believe. But seriously I do not believe what I have felt is gas. The jabs I felt were felt while my bladder was VERY FULL. I have heard that can let you feel them better. Since I have never been pregnant before I am entering a unknown world here. You can read and hear others stories about how it feels however its so different explaining what you have felt this baby do inside of you. It truly is the best feeling in the world! I can only imagine how the next few months of kicking and jabbing from our Snowbaby will feel later in the pregnancy.
I have decided since I do not feel as bloated anymore to begin posting pictures of my growing belly. Here are a couple of photos of 11 weeks. Enjoy!
Prior to this week I have felt very bloated but unable to wear my "normal" fitting clothes. My mom bought a ton of maternity clothes for me that has helped tremendously. I have begun to feel better and don't gag as much. I am able to keep most every meal down, so that is really exciting as well! My skin, however, is a different story. My eczema that was once healed before pregnancy has come back full-force. It has become almost unbearable for me. It's to that point again, pain, discomfort, cracking, peeling, bleeding. I have become fed up and I will be requesting ointment to help me this Thursday. I truly want to have my beautiful skin back!
I have begun to feel what I believe is our little Snowbaby. Josh is very skeptical about it though. He believes its gas. But the jabs are felt right above the pubic bone and sometimes roll horizontally. Of course Josh can't fell these so its hard to make him believe. But seriously I do not believe what I have felt is gas. The jabs I felt were felt while my bladder was VERY FULL. I have heard that can let you feel them better. Since I have never been pregnant before I am entering a unknown world here. You can read and hear others stories about how it feels however its so different explaining what you have felt this baby do inside of you. It truly is the best feeling in the world! I can only imagine how the next few months of kicking and jabbing from our Snowbaby will feel later in the pregnancy.
I have decided since I do not feel as bloated anymore to begin posting pictures of my growing belly. Here are a couple of photos of 11 weeks. Enjoy!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Big News...
Week of April 10th - Last week was tough but this week has been a whirlwind. I have been approved for WIC. I am waiting on Medicaid to be approved and once it is approved we will be able to see our baby for the first time!
Yes, Josh and I found out Sunday April 10th 2011 we are expecting our first child! I couldn't believe it heck, I was basically talked into taking the test. I mean with all the stress from Choice and Next door and my Papa Dixon anyone would have believed Aunt Flow didn't visit because of stress.
It's is unreal knowing I am growing a human inside of me. I haven't felt to bad other than bouts of toxic gas, ezcema breaking out, and being fatigued. Last night was my first night of getting sick. We had just left Chili's and I had eaten way too much. BB turned on the CB radio and Pinto was talking about eating SPAM. Going into detail about the different kinds of SPAM, Spam and eggs, Ugh, sickening.
He has been great. When I cook meat, sometimes it makes me sick and after I eat I get sick so he has been helping so much! I finally got around to Steam Mopping tonight. It feels good to actually be able to do things rather than be scared of when I might puke next! haha.
Isaiah kept me busy last week, since he was out of school for Easter or Spring Break. We went hiking, went to the zoo with Amy, Conner, Noah and Brayden. He did really well, and I was really proud of him! I feel better when I am active so I told Josh, I wanted to find things to keep me busy. He put me to work today spreading grass seed on our yard. I enjoyed it and felt great.
I went through my clothes today as well, Oh boy, I have NOTHING! Nothing fits anymore, my tummy is hard feeling and this week I am 6 going on 7 weeks. Even T-Shirts are tight! My mom and Dad bought me a couple BeBands they work great but the shorts I have, I don't feel comfortable wearing pregnant.
Pregnant, just the word excites me now! More news on Wednesday April 27th.~ !!!! ! !!!!! ! !!!!
We had an appointment with Dr Dorn in High Point at 11:30. We made it in time. Thankfully, Josh able to work around work as he has been really busy. I was stoked he was able to go and of course he was as well. We drove to High Point and filled out just a little paperwork since I had already filled out most earlier online. I peed in a cup they took my blood pressure, and weighed me. I gained 2 pounds since 4/11/11. Dr Dorn came in and spoke with us after 3 minutes of waiting, asked a couple of medical history questions and how I was feeling. I told him I was nauseated all day long and he said "that's great! We love to hear that." This comforted Josh because he was worrying about me getting sick so much and then asked for us to follow him to do an ultrasound.
I figured like past ultrasound when I had had for ovarian cysts a ultrasound tech would do it. That didn't happen today! Dr Dorn did the ultrasound! That was unbelievable to me. He was impressed with our yolk sac. He mentioned it over and over. :) and There was the bean inside me! He showed us the flutter of the heart. He was acting like we wouldn't be able to hear a heartbeat however I asked and he tried and we got a strong heartbeat. It is the most unbelievable sound and feeling in the world! He measured the Bean and we measured 7 weeks and 1 day. A day a head of what I thought. Therefore, I believe its a boy. Josh said it was a boy my mom was there and said it looked like a girl to her. Dr Dorn said she must have some good eyes. LOL> And they took tons of blood! Josh actually asked if I was okay to drive afterwards they took so much.
It was very exciting but yet nerve wrecking. I am head over heels in love with our Baby Ferguson growing inside me! Josh and I are thrilled yet overwhelmed with an up coming birth in December. There is a lot to do! But every bit of it will be worth it. :)
Yes, Josh and I found out Sunday April 10th 2011 we are expecting our first child! I couldn't believe it heck, I was basically talked into taking the test. I mean with all the stress from Choice and Next door and my Papa Dixon anyone would have believed Aunt Flow didn't visit because of stress.
___________________________________________________________
Week of Easter April 24th- OMG! All day being sick! ALL DAY EVERYDAY! Its worse at night after 10pm, I orginally started taking my prenatal vitamin at lunch with my meal the mornings and now before sleep. It doesn't matter when, I still get sick! Some days aren't as bad as most. Some nights it like a fist being thrown to the bottom my stomach. Not to mention the heartburn, indigestion, and heavy breathing from being so congested. In about 36 hours we will have our first ultrasound! I am super excited! Josh is too!
He has been great. When I cook meat, sometimes it makes me sick and after I eat I get sick so he has been helping so much! I finally got around to Steam Mopping tonight. It feels good to actually be able to do things rather than be scared of when I might puke next! haha.
Isaiah kept me busy last week, since he was out of school for Easter or Spring Break. We went hiking, went to the zoo with Amy, Conner, Noah and Brayden. He did really well, and I was really proud of him! I feel better when I am active so I told Josh, I wanted to find things to keep me busy. He put me to work today spreading grass seed on our yard. I enjoyed it and felt great.
I went through my clothes today as well, Oh boy, I have NOTHING! Nothing fits anymore, my tummy is hard feeling and this week I am 6 going on 7 weeks. Even T-Shirts are tight! My mom and Dad bought me a couple BeBands they work great but the shorts I have, I don't feel comfortable wearing pregnant.
Pregnant, just the word excites me now! More news on Wednesday April 27th.~ !!!! ! !!!!! ! !!!!
_______________________________________________________________
The day came. April 27th.We had an appointment with Dr Dorn in High Point at 11:30. We made it in time. Thankfully, Josh able to work around work as he has been really busy. I was stoked he was able to go and of course he was as well. We drove to High Point and filled out just a little paperwork since I had already filled out most earlier online. I peed in a cup they took my blood pressure, and weighed me. I gained 2 pounds since 4/11/11. Dr Dorn came in and spoke with us after 3 minutes of waiting, asked a couple of medical history questions and how I was feeling. I told him I was nauseated all day long and he said "that's great! We love to hear that." This comforted Josh because he was worrying about me getting sick so much and then asked for us to follow him to do an ultrasound.
I figured like past ultrasound when I had had for ovarian cysts a ultrasound tech would do it. That didn't happen today! Dr Dorn did the ultrasound! That was unbelievable to me. He was impressed with our yolk sac. He mentioned it over and over. :) and There was the bean inside me! He showed us the flutter of the heart. He was acting like we wouldn't be able to hear a heartbeat however I asked and he tried and we got a strong heartbeat. It is the most unbelievable sound and feeling in the world! He measured the Bean and we measured 7 weeks and 1 day. A day a head of what I thought. Therefore, I believe its a boy. Josh said it was a boy my mom was there and said it looked like a girl to her. Dr Dorn said she must have some good eyes. LOL> And they took tons of blood! Josh actually asked if I was okay to drive afterwards they took so much.It was very exciting but yet nerve wrecking. I am head over heels in love with our Baby Ferguson growing inside me! Josh and I are thrilled yet overwhelmed with an up coming birth in December. There is a lot to do! But every bit of it will be worth it. :)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
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