Dreams.

Everyone has their own dreams. Some women dream of a cutesy house with a white picket fence with a husband that works hard so she doesn't have too and she raises their children. Some women dream of a ultra large house with a maid and both parties work and no children. But I dream of the in between. Of course this house wasn't my 'dream' house, but it is becoming more and more like a dream house. I always wanted a house on a hill with a wrap around porch around a New-Old Farm house, of course with a large kitchen and a bathroom with a claw foot tub. Ahhh, I can see myself now sitting in a bubble bath now. haha.

 But as I have gotten older, I have realized life isn't measured by the house or the material possessions. I understand life gets crazy and dreams adapt to fit our life. Our mortgage is paid, and we own everyone of our 10 or 15 cars. We have what I consider the "American Dream", my husband owns his own business and I work as a Massage Therapist in Mount Airy, as a independent contractor, we are not rich by no means but our bills are paid and we are able to do our hobbies with ease most of the time. I feel as my first dream has been achieved- having a loving husband and a beautiful house.

Nevertheless, I do have other dreams, I want to be a mother. That has been the one and only thing I have EVER dreamed of doing since I was a child. As a child, you play house, you carry a baby doll and make believe that its a real baby needing diapers, rocking, and food. I always figured I would be a statistic and have a baby in high school. But, evidently that wasn't in the stars for me. Here I am almost 24 years old married with three dogs. (smile.) Now, that the mortgage is taken care of we are beginning to think about having babies. Life has gotten easier the past year and we pray it continues. I plan to begin saving money and paying down my credit card, I ran back up for the wedding, hopefully the money we save can pay for our home birth.

What? Yes, we want a home birth, well, not just a regular home birth but a home water birth. Hopefully, we will have a normal non-eventful pregnancy and this will work out just fine for us. I am deeply interested in pregnancy and birthing, during my Nurturing the Mother seminar I learned so much about these ideas. Homebirthing and doulas were some of the big topics. It has been researched that having a doula versus getting a epidural relating to the pain of birthing is about the same. Homebirthing is a more relaxed atmosphere and most women are able to birth with continual progress because they know their surroundings. There is a birthing center in Chapel Hill I have looked at. They offer water birth, so there are other opportunities also. We want a water birth because it seems calmer for myself and the baby. Josh has watched water birth and is on board. He believes it will be easier to help me cope with the pain while I am in the water. So we pray that when we get pregnant that it will be low risk and we can continue our dream.

 We plan to cloth diaper. The family might feel differently though. I have talked with my parents about cloth diapering they are understanding and plan to use them as well. Everyone believes cloth diapering is very expensive and not worth the work or money. Josh and I believe that we can buy All-In-Ones (AIOs) One size diapers and save a lot of money, they run from $24-$37. However, these diapers are one size so they fit from 7-40 pounds. I have spent many hours researching how to use these diapers and everything seems as if it will fit our lifestyle. 

We have went off birth control and plan to continue our dream however not pushing trying to conceive. We will see what happens. We are living our dream.