Saturday, October 1, 2011

Difference a year makes.

Ok, some of you out there know that I have questioned myself for becoming a massage therapist. I got pretty down on myself last year at this time because I wasn't making any money. I couldn't afford to keep my car, or the insurance, and I have taken loan after loan from my parents. I hate taking ANY loans but I feel horrible for taking it from my parents. Anyway, Josh and I were having hard times last year at this time trying to make ends meet. We dropped all unnecessary bills like our Droids and that gave us the freedom to drop $100 off our Verizon bill! We cut the Dish Network off, and really started watching our power and water use. Let me tell you that really helped but nothing like finding the perfect place to work. Josh and I argued over how I SHOULD have finished nursing school. I had actually made up my mind about going back to school. I studied hard for the TEAS test but failed it miserably we had a ton of drama going on that week and the night before the big test I had to feed not only Josh and I but an additional family. I am glad I was able to help them out  however my test results proved it wasn't beneficial for the TEAS. I got so bummed out and depressed with myself. I felt worthless. I couldn't support my family and neither could Josh... we both were Aggravated  but we made it through it and Josh's business picked up. (thank God) And in late March I had issues at Choice and quit. Which Josh wanted me to anyways. It made life difficult and then SURPRISE after a little tinkle on a stick with 2 pink lines we have more to think about... I don't have a job!!! And we are pregnant.

Job application after job application, driving around checking on them they all say apply online and wait. UGH! I hate hearing that. However, In June, I finally saw an ad for a massage therapist position, Josh and I both agreed it was worth a shot. The day after my birthday I did my practical massage on Julia and she said I was hired! What a relief. I drove to Greensboro every week slowly starting just on Fridays then adding Thursdays and Saturdays. I received a gas check for coming down there and my commission check. Although, the drive sucked at least I was making money.

Fast forward, September 16th Hand and Stone Massage and Facial Spa opened its doors in Winston. My location! I was so excited but understood it could be slow but I had three massages in the first day and that Saturday I had 5.5 hours of massage WITH requests! Oh how happy I was. Now the first check is coming up and I have actually been really busy at this location. I will have a great paycheck; one that makes ANY other place I have worked (even for myself) look bad. I am stoked. When you add in the tips it gets even better. Finally, we are on a road to which the grass is greener on the other side. We will make it. And this baby will have what it needs. I am over the moon with excitement and giddyness. A job, a job  that I wanted, one that I have skills at doing one I went to school for and EARNED! I truly couldn't be happier. I am going to attempt to work as long as I can until Kendall makes her appearance or I have to go on bed rest. I hope my dreams will continue coming true. Soon I will have a precious baby girl named Kendall by my side and I will have the added joy of raising her but another part of me wants more on the business side as well.

I am hoping to be thought of for lead therapist in Winston. I know having the baby at this time could make it more difficult in my selection however, I feel I am up for it. I know I have done managerial work before and it would be even better to do it massage therapist style especially for this company! I am working my tail off trying to prove myself worthy. Work is steady and it is unbelievable how positive and upbeat I am about coming to work. I can only imagine more steady dependable income from here. This establishment KNOWS how to run a business. They understand this is how we make our living and they work hard at helping us achieve our dreams. All they ask is for is that you keep it drama free and follow Hand and Stone protocol. They take care of ALL The advertising and so far they have done a FABULOUS job!!! My life has done a complete turn around from how it was last year and I am loving it.

With a baby on the way and new job with great opportunities ahead of me, I would have to be crazy not to be excited and giddy about what lies ahead for next year!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

At 28 weeks...

... Josh and I have decided to change OB's. We went to the hospital tour at High Point Regional  on the 18th and were blown away. I really want to labor freely, free from IV's and the fetal Monitoring. They make a wireless option however we asked the nurses station how many they had and they have ONE! All the women in our tour group were wowed by this and one pregnant mom said "I guess we will have to fight for it huh". The is NO shower or tub in the birthing suite at all and it is very small. There also is no rocking chair. You only stay in the birthing suite about 2-3 hours after the birth and then you are moved to the postpartum room which is MUCH smaller than most kids bedrooms. It is makes Forsyth's postpartum room look like a birthing suite. They also said when the mother is in the process of changing rooms dad goes with baby to the admissions nursery. Where they end up staying for 2 hours. They are bathed here and stuck and prodded and the tour guide made it out like we weren't even asked about the Hep B vaccination it was mandatory I found out later they do give the option. However, it is still mandatory for baby to leave mom for 2 hours.  So after the baby goes to the admitting nursery they are then cleared (if all looks well with baby) to go to the regular nursery. HPR has 3 different nurseries. So in all the baby is moved 3 times and mom is moved twice. Because of cramped space laboring freely would be very tough.

As most of you know I have very high standards for Kendall's birth. LOL!  Probably too high and most of my birthing dreams won't happen but going to HPR pretty much throws everything Josh and I both want OUT THE WINDOW! We really wanted a water birth or at least help from water. We want to have the option to opt out of shots until her immune system can handle them. We want Kendall to be with us unless there is a medical emergency with her. I would like to stay in the same room and not be moved but I understand if another birth is awaiting our room. I would like to be able to move freely during birth and not be tied down to the bed as I said before with IV's and the fetal monitor. SOOOOOOOooooo.....

We looked into a birth center in Mooresville/Statesville and they are willing to accept us. They have only been open since August 1st so Medicaid doesn't cover us having the birth at the Center however, we can go to the hospital down there and have a Center Style Birth. They have 8 Birthing suites all 8 have Jacuzzi's to ease labor. The baby is delivered and placed upon moms belly wiped clean and mom and baby bond before placenta comes out after that the cord is cut. They only put mom on Fetal Monitor on at the beginning and if baby is showing problems and  if no problems exist then the nurse will monitor with Doppler every 30 minutes or so.  Therefore, you are able to labor in jacuzzi, rocking chair, birthing ball, birthing stool, or on all fours on bed etc. the discourage the use of laying in bed. Mom and dad are welcome to decline bathing/Vit K/Eye Ointment/and Hep B Vaccination. Of course doctor will talk with you however politely decline and no more questions are asked or pushed.

The birth center will also allow Josh and I to come down to labor at the birth center so we do not have to spend the entire labor at the hospital! There are 2 Certified Nurse Midwives and one doctor. Doctor Susan Roque. I have talked around and found out Dr Dorn isn't so gentle with tissues if you know what I mean and he has more tears than Dr Roque. Dr Roque does more massage and warming up the peritoneal  area to help ease tearing. Another point for Dr Roque. Also it helps she is a woman.

So they asked we go to Dr Dorn's office for our regular appointment  next week. We will have our glucose test done and as we leave we ask for our Record Request to be faxed to Dr Roque. We will see her 3 weeks later on October 11th. I am so glad we found out before we had to endure our first childs birth there at HPR. And for those who live in Surry County we also had looked into Elkin Hospital however, they refused to allow us off the fetal monitor or allowing us to have a Hep-Lock.

We are really excited now about our birth of our first baby since we know it will probably more of what we pictured and dreamed. We have hired a childbirth educator that has worked with many home birth mom and dads and she will be coming to our house to teach us how to labor naturally without medical intervention or medicine starting October 17th. It is so crazy to think that in 13-14 weeks it will be Christmas and I will be toting a precious baby girl in my arms! I think it just might be the best Christmas of my life!!! :) 28 weeks down 12 more to go!!!            

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Positive Birth Affirmations...

It is important for family and friends of mine to realize every birth is different. Every person is different therefore every woman's body is different and every newborn entering the world is different. So we have to expect their birth to be different. Everyone wants a different birth an easy birth. If a mother-to-be wants a stress free and drug-free birth everyone should support them and not tell them all the bad things that could or will happen during the birth. It is all about good Birth Affirmations. If the mother has a great support system from friends and family her birth will be enjoyable and her precious baby will be born just the way she envisioned.

I invite you to take a look at the clicky link above about "Birth Affirmations" and I encourage you to continue to encourage me. I want a birth that is easy and carefree and your words can encourage me. 

I don't wish to hear horror stories anymore or hear the fact you don't believe I can accomplish the birth I want. I have read PLENTY of stories and heard PLENTY of birth stories. I don't have to hear how your child was born  and how terrible your pain was or how great the Epidural is and how I WILL change my mind about it. Pain is something we all view differently in other words what hurts you might not hurt to me. Just the same as you and I have different taste buds we have different pain receptors. While I may feel pain during childbirth I may not feel the amount of pain you did. I might be lucky enough to feel more pressure than pain. It is all in how your support system supports the mother. Therefore, my family should understand if I feel like I need time alone or quietness in the room or etc. that I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I might end up needing my mother more than Josh? Everyone should remain flexible and understanding. And come to the birth of Kendall understanding they may not "see" her enter the world.  Who knows what I will need but I am in no way trying to hurt anyone's feelings. But I do promise to let everyone see her and hold her and caress her shortly after her arrival.

I want everyone that intends to be present for the birth of Kendall to be aware of my wishes and my hopes for her birth and to not feel offended or hurt by what I may say or do. You might agree today but please remember my plea I make today. Please support me and Josh and encourage a easy and carefree birth. Give us Positive Birth Affirmations especially the closer to the due date.

Below I am posting my "List" this is a list I will be giving Dr Dorn and Hospital Staff. And I believe anyone that plans to be present at the birth and afterward should know all my wishes because SOME could apply to you and you may be able to help clarify for the hospital staff if something may present itself.


  • Request Hep-Lock
  • Request Wireless Fetal Monitor with no external or internal monitoring
  • Request NO Epidural, Stadol or Demerol
  • Request NO pitocin
  • Unless emergency, Delayed Cord Clamping
  • Skin to skin contact immediately after birth
  • Request Apgar Test to be completed on my chest, unless emergency baby isn't to be taken away from me for any measurements etc. 
  • Breastfeeding takes priority over ANY pictures
  • Even if born Pre-maturely ONLY breast milk is to be given
  • Request Delayed Bathing- If blood is present it may be wiped away
  • Request Delayed Eye Ointment 
  • Request Rooming in unless medical Emergency
  • No Hep B vaccination UNLESS  baby MUST be taken to NICU 
  • If Cesarean Section is the ABSOLUTELY only option and baby is not in fetal distress skin to skin contact is REQUIRED after birth and breast milk should be encouraged as soon as possible.  

Some of the things on the list may upset you but I assume if you want to attend the birth then you respect my decisions and if not I do not expect you to attend the birth of Kendall. I have good reasoning for every one of the things mentioned above. 


I hope I have not offended anyone if so I am very sorry but this is something Josh and I have spoken about for months I figure it is a great time to post since Kendall's Birth is just a few weeks away. It will be here before we know it. I hope you respect our decisions and hopes for Kendall's Birth.






Here is a photo of 26 weeks!

While I am on a topic of respect:


Please understand I have always had an issue with what people think of my body. Please respect me and my body word things differently. As Josh says it gives me a complex. I am NORMAL size for 7 months pregnant and have gained a NORMAL amount of weight.  Josh has to tell me how great I look almost everyday to make me feel better about my pregnancy body. In my head I know I am small and there are times I think my belly appears larger but Kendall can move and I look small by the end of the day. Thanks to everyone who has been considerate of my feelings! <3 yall!


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Things are coming together...

As life seems to create a new pregnancy normal we get slammed in the face with a million things to do! Josh has to renew his dealer license and  I have to renew my massage license. We are touring High Point Regional September 18th.  We are beginning a hypnobirthing class on September 8th. Third Trimester begins on the 20th of September! Hand and Stone will be requesting more hours from me since Winston location will be opening in 16 or so days.  And my Daddy has been coming by on the weekends to help get the house ready for Kendall. We still have to take the window out between the laundry room and her room, paint etc. We have 2 baby showers scheduled. October 29th is one my parents are throwing in Mount Airy. November 5th is the Rural Hall shower and Amy and Angie are throwing it but I believe we are doing a couples shower and there will be alcohol involved and BBQ and Cornhole!!! So maybe not so showery!!! We still have to get the waterstove installed and working not to mention all the wood we need to have stacked! I think if we could hire work it still couldn't be done in time!

Thankfully, like I said before,  my parents have been helping getting the house ready and my mother has went insane with buying clothes! Kendall will definitively have enough clothes!  (She has some super cute stuff and some adorable PUMA's) Josh's mom has bought some summery clothes for Kendall later on. Josh's Dad, Step-mom and Step-sisters and Brother are pitching in for all the bedding we want for Kendall. They have told us they were ordering it soon! I am super excited for that; it seems like I am wanting to nest but feel like I can't pull anything together right now. I feel misplaced. Maybe I did misplace myself somewhere...

 Things are coming together for us but it is a hectic time for us right now. I find myself overwhelmed with things that could be done or need to be bought but I let them slide because I know my friends and family are going to take care of most things. That part is hard! I have continued buying things I know my friends and family might not buy like cloth diapers and a ring sling to die for!!! For now I guess, I will have to endure the busy September only to come to October which will mean only 8 or 10 weeks before we meet Kendall.

Yes, I do find it strange that I am now beginning to get overwhelmed. I have known for 20 plus weeks we were pregnant. But holding Amy's precious Baby Benjamin made me slap myself in the head basically and wowed me because this really is happening inside me. I cried and cried last Tuesday when I held him for the first time. I can't believe I will have small human body that is part me and part Josh to care for in just a few weeks. Someone that we both created. You go through pregnancy with this notion of I will have a baby at the end of 40 weeks but  then you hold a newborn who is your best friends baby who has been with me from the beginning of this pregnancy; those notions fade and you realize what is really growing inside of you--- Kendall Reese Ferguson is growing inside of me a part of Josh and I something we created out of love. It is simply amazing.  I love that little Benjamin so much and I can't imagine holding something I have grown from Josh and I both. It isn't like holding a puppy. It is something so amazing  I can't put it into words. This is what has me overwhelmed.

 I am growing a small human inside of me and I have  to take care of it from now till the day I die... I know I will be a great mother because I had some of the greatest motherly role models out there! (ie. my mother and Granny Wanda and Granny Penley) They each contribute something different to my parenting skills. I also know Josh will be a wonderful father because I see the way he looks at other babies now. He is different now too. He loves her so much already. He is so excited to meet her and teach her new things.

 We are both shocked we have created a beautiful baby girl that is growing inside of me and now every part of us wants her to stay put until we can get everything perfect just for her. Josh even mentioned trying to keep her inside the womb until she is 4 years old. LOL. We know that can't happen and we understand she will make her appearance when SHE is ready whether we are ready here at home or not. So I don't think we are scared to have a child I think it is the mere fact we are going from 2 people with 2 dogs and 10 chickens to 2 people +a newborn baby girl+ 2 dogs+ 10 chickens... I am sure that it just first time jitters of having a baby. I am totally in love with Kendall I love every single kick and uncomfortable rib jab she can give me and I can't wait to hold my precious Snow Bunny. By the way, we have finally come to a conclusion on a name...

Kendall Reese Ferguson

With that said, I must drift off to my crazy dreams since it is late!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

"Looks like you got a vagina on your hands!!!!"

We finally get to see our precious Baby again! We had our first scan at 7 weeks and 1 day. We waited until July 28th only to get a call the day before telling us Dr Dorn was having to do a surgery that day. So we got pushed back until August 2nd. At 21 weeks exactly we finally got to see our baby as a *baby* instead as a bean like we saw the first time.

Josh and I both were really excited to have another ultrasound. He showed us the head were the brain and cerebellum was, the different chambers of the heart, where the kidneys were, he measured each of these parts and then rolls around my tummy to get to the butt to measure the femur. There were no wieners in sight here! I glanced to Josh and he was beaming, smiling ear to ear! It was so exciting because I knew I had been right along!My mom and dad were even more happier! But I was happy Josh had a smile on his face because I know he really wanted a boy. But Dr Dorn still hadn't told us it was either yet he kept trying to get a different angle to see if it could possibly be a boy finally he says, "Welp, looks like you got a vagina on your hands!" 

My mom gave me a big smooch on the cheek and Josh smiled even bigger! All organs and bones are growing perfectly and she almost weighs a full pound! Dr Dorn tried and tried to find us a great profile shot  but she was being *shy* so to say and she kept her hands above her face which cast a shadow making it difficult to get a great profile of her. Just as he printed the photo she rolled and gave us an amazing profile shot! I was so delighted! You can see her face and her arm and her tiny hand, and her belly and leg. It was truly amazing.

We are having a GIRL!!! 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Picture Overload.

12 weeks 3 days







14 weeks




Interview at Hand and Stone Massage and Facial  Spa at 16 weeks! 


17 weeks and 3 days



Our Crib put together!!! 
18 weeks

 I have been very slack since about 11 weeks about putting pictures up. But we are now up to speed with our last post of 18 weeks. I am very excited to say I have a "real" bump now, since earlier in the pregnancy it was really just bloat.

It truly is amazing how this little person growing inside of me can move and knows my voice. I swear when I sing in the shower or the car this little person inside of me moves like crazy! Probably because I sing so terribly now since I have such awful nasal congestion! LOL. Sounds of Josh working affect this little one,the 4th of July was crazy with movement and it has now began to "run" from Josh's touch. I also think this baby loves to ride almost every time we get into a vehicle it now moves a lot. I have just a about forgotten what my body felt like without a baby moving inside of me. It is so spectacular I really don't want it to end!

In 15 days we find will be able to stop calling it an "it" I will be very grateful for that. I feel terrible calling The kid or "it". We are very excited to know the sex but I also want to know about the rest of the anatomy scan. I want to be reassured everything is growing right on track.

Yesterday, (July 12th) I went to my WIC appointment and I have only gained a total of 6 pounds; on June 30th  at our last OB appointment I had only gained a total of 3 pounds. WIC isn't too terribly worried about the weight but they did say it was under what I should be. They believe I will make it up since it is still early. At the OB office however, the nurse practioner believes I will only gain 20 pounds tops. We shall only see with time.

I have been crazy will energy for the last few days. I have cleaned out the entire baby's nursery and cleaned all the bouncers, jumpers, and saucers. I have even made a cover for the bouncer since it had bleach spots from where we cleaned it. It is red with red white and blue plaid on the inside. I will post pictures when I am done and can remember. I am really digging this energy even if I need a nap around 4 I wake up with just as much energy! Hope it continues. And I hope I can remember to continue to keep this blog going.